Everything You're Not, You Are
or... Bad > You < Good, where You cannot = 0.
I report for my first day of work at Conde Nast on Monday for a 3-month market research gig. This is notable for two reasons:
1) as a once promising Gawkerbot who later self-destructed, I did my share of crapping in the Conde pool as a guest-editor and here on my site.
2) I have a $100 bet with Nick, Lock, and Elizabeth that I'll actually show up this time. Vegas has it at even-money. (AJ, what do you say??)
Fortunately I'm now a reformed media blogger and hereby pledge my allegiance to the Newhouse family. It helps that I was hired primarily for my data analysis skills, not writing (lucky for everyone involved) which Choire Sicha was nice enough to highlight in his recommendation letter for me.
Any concern that I'm being planted as a mole has been alleviated by signing an NDA that penalizes any breach of contract with death by curling irons, or worse, deportation to Jersey. In an act of good faith, I am taking even stricter measures and have agreed to undergo the memory-erasing procedure known as "Eternal Sunshine of the Blogless Mind" tomorrow night. (Sac, please don't screw this up or get distracted by Maccers.) For your part, dear friends and readers, I ask that you never mention Gawker Media to me ever again. Thanks For Everything and Goodbye GM, I never knew ya.
(Nick/Lock, Meeeet meee innn Monnntaaauk...)
I report for my first day of work at Conde Nast on Monday for a 3-month market research gig. This is notable for two reasons:
1) as a once promising Gawkerbot who later self-destructed, I did my share of crapping in the Conde pool as a guest-editor and here on my site.
2) I have a $100 bet with Nick, Lock, and Elizabeth that I'll actually show up this time. Vegas has it at even-money. (AJ, what do you say??)
Fortunately I'm now a reformed media blogger and hereby pledge my allegiance to the Newhouse family. It helps that I was hired primarily for my data analysis skills, not writing (lucky for everyone involved) which Choire Sicha was nice enough to highlight in his recommendation letter for me.
Any concern that I'm being planted as a mole has been alleviated by signing an NDA that penalizes any breach of contract with death by curling irons, or worse, deportation to Jersey. In an act of good faith, I am taking even stricter measures and have agreed to undergo the memory-erasing procedure known as "Eternal Sunshine of the Blogless Mind" tomorrow night. (Sac, please don't screw this up or get distracted by Maccers.) For your part, dear friends and readers, I ask that you never mention Gawker Media to me ever again. Thanks For Everything and Goodbye GM, I never knew ya.
(Nick/Lock, Meeeet meee innn Monnntaaauk...)
