YM Interview: Sac, Real Person

The guy who writes Sacramento is the New New York has a name. It's, unbelievably, Joaquin and he's not Hispanic. He stands taller than Nick Denton but not Chris Gage. He's been in town this week and loves questions about his tattoo, none of which are asked here. I've said too little.

Background: From the Bay Area, live in Sacramento, work indoors, I am age appropriate.

Please share a personal (and hopefully interesting) NYC taxi story.
Watching a well-known blogger pass out, then miraculously awaken right before his stop, toss a few dollars American over his shoulder, then disappear into the night. God damn I admire that guy. That or the time I arm-wrestled a hobo.

Time travel question: What era, day or event in New York's history would you like to re-live?
I would like to travel into the (not near enough) future to this coming Saturday, when I will fly out of this entirely fictional burg.

9pm, Wednesday - what are you doing?
Masturbating furiously. To no avail. Damn this arm cast.

What's your New York motto?
Does not exist.

Best celebrity sighting in New York, or personal experience with one if you're that type.
Spotting Curtis Sliwa and remembering him from the Phil Donahue show. This was before blogging. So it doesn't count.

Describe that low, low moment when you thought you just might have to leave NYC for good.
Right now, filling this out. I've never been lower.

Just after midnight on a Saturday - what are you doing?
Sleeping the sleep of the innocent.

What's the most expensive thing in your wardrobe?
My hairpiece.

Where do you summer?
In the freezer aisle of the nearest Safeway.

Who do you consider to be the greatest New Yorker of all-time?
Moot question.

What was your best dining experience in NYC?
Being served a two-pound pastrami sandwich at Carnegie Deli, then pointing and laughing at it as that's just ridiculous.

Just how much do you really love New York?
Enough to exchange clothing with it.

What happened the last time you went to L.A.?
I got golden brown.

Medication: What and how much do you take?
None. I cannot be improved.

Of all the movies made about (or highly associated with) New York, what role would you have liked to be cast in?
Godzilla 2000

If you could change one thing about New York, what would it be?
Make bigger pastrami sandwiches.

The End of The World is finally happening. Be it the Rapture, War of Armageddon, reversal of the Sun's magnetic field, or Williamsburg stops sucking. What are you going to do with your last 24 hours in NYC?
Give them to the homeless.