"But It's Not Right and It's Not Nice to Try to Kill the Same Thing Twice"

Image from Hi-Fi New York

Now that last week's nauseating overexposure on Gawker (which amusingly suffered the inevitable backlash by post #2) is ancient history, it's time to sit back, count the job leads (one...two...all done!) and say thanks to everyone who showed support or at least feigned it.

And to those who didn't care or even grew to loathe Gawker's incessant coverage of the incident, I can't say I really blame ya but pardon me while I invoke the "Kottke Clause" here and ask you kindly, but not the least bit gently, to fuck OFF. Please use your own chainsaw and cleaning supplies.

So with that tilt-a-whirl around the maypole, let's take it from the top shelf and dive into a bottomless power sewer of shrinky-links...

Jesse Oxfeld should be last (or not even included) on the list but Sunday's dinner at Peter Luger's on his tab is still sitting in my stomach and thus passively providing me free lunch all week. While I ultimately forgive him, my girlfriend Rina still does not and for that she gets my biggest appreciation of all.

Lock/Nick/Jess, in no specific order because I'm not sure they specifically support me, for predictably and consistently being themselves .

Choire for being one of the first to cry at the joke and laugh through the tears. Sac for standing in the rain by the Conde Nast building entrance and humming Eddie Rabbitt. MT for immediately responding, "who do you want me to beat up?"

Spiers for the appropiate use of "they're assholes" and Clare for the inappropiate use of "get your midget digits out of my asshole." Kate Lee for graciously keeping an open mind and hopes of a book deal alive until I actually get her something on paper that will kill it.

Rachel Sklar of FishbowlNY for getting someone fired at CNN the very next day thus making it an official cool trend of 2005.

Harry Les Trade of Tempcity Bitchless Blog for offering to turn me gay which should in turn improve my marketability in New York media and possibly Hollywood, if I deny the whole thing.

Randy Kim for making this video (outdoing a previous one) and reminding us all, even if we already knew, that blog friends are not your real friends. Dennis, not just for Dodgeball tech support, but the rally cries too. Becca for the ice cream and Grellan for the offer to plant a special Soju-diuretic in the Conde Nast cafeteria. Tully who deserves more breaks than I've ever had or will possibly get in the future.

Doug Jaeger for graphical representation. Patrice Evans, I'm still waiting to be represented musically.

Bucky Turco of Animal Magazine for the buttons, party, and being a one-man cheerleading squad. Nick at Blogebrity who escalated the terror warning to Drudge Flashing Siren status. Jake for getting the first interview. Jason Calacanis who I think would pay me to blog about bathroom bacteria if I so desired.

Chris Gage who in a way is the root cause of it all and Rob Sterling who in a different way is really the self-fertilizing seed of everything.

To anyone (my mom, Cathy of Lost and Frowned, and this guy come to mind) for cancelling their Conde Nast magazine subscriptions in protest. KDunk for carrying my spirit and hopefully not a copy of Vogue wherever she goes.

Susan Mernit for comparing me to Toby Young which is nice and all but hey, the real Toby Young left a comment here. (To answer his questions, I really don't know about the evolution of any policies they have. I was freelance and everyone who freelances at Conde Nast goes through Career Blazers and signs a standard confidentiality agreement.)

Jeff Jarvis, a ghost of Conde Past, for rattling old bones.

Will Leitch, Chris Mohney, Davey G. Johnson (Jalopnik and Gearhead) for sending condolences that don't amount to a hill of beans but dammit, this is our hill and these are our beans.

Chris Faile and his Crain's Business buddies (here's one of the two) for no good reason because they jinxed me with that damn quote I gave a week before the shit-canning. (I still stand by what I said because I never blogged about work nor did I intend any "leak" to be blogged by someone else.)

Jessica Mintz for breakfast the morning after at Clinton Street Bakery, originally scheduled to be at 4 Times Square but suddenly switched as a result of my office key card with $20 cafeteria credit being snatched away from me.

Jackson West and the others on Blottered for keeping at it; the mysterious person who made this comment for making me break an audible smile.

John Hodgman for helpful advice on running attack ads. Janelle Gunther for 1-lecture, 2-condolences, 3-gesture. John Darnielle for writing the Extra Glenns lyrics I used for the title of this post. My Uncle David who instructed me to "play it for all it's worth."

Select Bloglined/Technoratized/Icerocketed Bits: Tristam Shandy (technically I worked for Conde Nast corporate, not any specific magazine), Nichelle Newsletter (though I'm really Snoopy's water bowl), ThisIs14thSt (no idea what you're talking about), NYU's PressEthic, Jossip, Erin's PRblog, SpinachDip, Patsy Bluth, FunnyBusiness, Blog About Town, Il Pozzo di Cabal and sztahnova

Emails, free beer and lunch offers from: Dana, Andrew, Lindsay, Brian Van, Clay Shirky, Xeni, Dawn Eden, Scott L, Christie St, La D, Noelle H, Emily G, Kevin M, Marissa G, Dannielle R, Luke McG, Evan Co, Adrienne P, Aram F, Chuck S, Alli M, Alexa S, Shani F, Molly in Minneapolis, a transgender temp in SF, and various unnamed people within the Conde Nast and Fairchild organizations.