The Bible Rewrite Project

Hi, this is artist Nate Hill. My introduction will go quicker if I just give you the short facts. I cut up dead animals and sew them back together in new ways and call them "new animals". I love God, but I also have a God complex. I want to try something big. I want to be like God, the greatest artist of all time. I've taken this literally (being like God), so I'm rewriting the Bible. One reason is to create my own mythology or perhaps more accurately steal God's mythology. The plan is to blog one chapter of the Bible Rewrite Project each week right here on Young Manhattanite. I'll probably post on the weekends. If you're cross is burning for the next entry you can always read ahead, but why spoil the suspense? And try not to fall asleep.

NOTE: Original Text appears in Italics. Rewrite follows in Plain Text.

The Bible: Old Testament

Genesis

The Beginning

Genesis 1

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

In the beginning, Nate created Himself. It was nice for awhile, but it became too quiet. So, He created the heavens and the earth. No one knows quite why or where or when or how. The earth was an empty waste and darkness was over the deep waters. Nate was all alone. There was nothing but an odd smell in the air. The Spirit of Nate was moving above the waters. Nate said, "There should be more. Let there be something called an idea," and there was an idea. Nate saw that the idea was good. He thought of every idea that ever was and ever will be. There was evening and there was morning, the first day.

And God said, "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters." And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament; and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

Then Nate said, "Let there be an open space where I can ponder creation. I need a place to think. A place that smells nice that will divide waters from waters." Nate made the open space, and divided the waters under the open space from the waters above the open space. And it was so. Nate called it Heaven, the place where the grandest animals are sewn together. Again, let it be known forever that in Heaven, the grandest animals are sewn together. There was evening and there was morning, the second day.

And God said, "Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear"; and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called He Seas; and God saw that it was good. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth"; and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind; and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the third day.

And Nate said, "Let the waters below the heavens be gathered into one place. Let the dry land appear." And it was so. Then Nate called the dry land Earth. He called the gathering of the waters Seas. And Nate saw that it was good. Then Nate said, "Let plants grow from the earth, plants that have seeds. Let animal parts grow from the earth, from within these seeds." And it was so. Plants and trees alike grew out of the earth with seedlings of animals parts inside. The parts of animals were growing on earth before animals roamed the ground or flew through the air. And Nate saw that it was good. There was evening and there was morning, the third day.

And God said, "Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and years; and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth"; and it was so. And God made two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

Then Nate said, "Let there be big lights in this open space to divide day from night. During the day, we'll need to see. Tomorrow, I will take the animal parts that I have grown and sew together the first animals of the earth. But I must have light to see. During the night, I will create a smaller light. It could be called a 'night light.'" And it was so. Nate made those two great lights. And He saw that it was good. There was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

And God said, "Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven." And God created great whales and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind; and God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply on the earth." And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

Then Nate said, "Let the waters be full of living things. I will sew them. Let birds fly above the earth in the open space of the heavens. I will take a beak from this plant and some wings from that tree and put them together." Nate sewed together the big animals that live in the sea, and every living thing that moves through the waters by its kind, and every winged bird after its kind. He even made the maggots from hardened tree sap. "You will never know you are maggots," He said. And Nate saw that it was good. Nate wanted good to come to all, saying, "Give birth to many. Grow in number. Fill the waters in the seas. Let birds grow in number on the earth." There was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.

And God said, "Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind: cattle and creeping thing and beast of the earth after his kind"; and it was so. And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind; and God saw that it was good.

Then Nate said, "Let the earth bring into being living things after their kind: Cattle and things that move upon the ground, and wild animals of the earth after their kind." And it was so. Then Nate made the wild animals of the earth after their kind, and the cattle after their kind, and every thing that moves upon the ground after its kind. And Nate saw that it was good.

And God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." And God said, "Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat"; and it was so. And God saw every thing that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

Then Nate said, "The animals that I have sewn together are blank canvases. In other words, they are prototypes. Let Us make man like Us and let him create his own animals with these canvases that I have given him. He shall have the fish of the sea, the birds of the air and the cattle. And over all the earth, every thing that moves on the ground, man shall use for his creation of new animals." And Nate made man in His own likeness. In the likeness of Nate He made him. He made both male and female. And Nate wanted good to come to them, saying, "Give birth to many. Grow in number. Fill the earth and rule over it. Rule over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth." Then Nate said, "See, I have given you every plant that grows animal parts that is on the earth, and every tree that gives limbed fruit. They will be parts and pieces for you to change the animals that I have given you. Sew them together as you see fit. In doing this, you honor me. This is the holiest activity." And it was so. Nate saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. There was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.