How I Met Krucoff and Carney, or Why I Stopped Drinking
I should explain what I'm doing here. I like Andrew, I think he's supernice, and I think there's a photo of us pretending to make out somewhere on Flickr. ("Pretend to Make Out" was my Blue Steel for awhile. See here and here.) So when he invited me to contribute, I said yes because we're friends. At least, I think we're friends although I don't remember actually meeting Andrew. Yet there is photographic evidence to the contrary, and he seems to know who I am when I see him at parties.
Nor do I remember meeting John Carney. But according to John and several witnesses, I made out on him at a party last year. Not with him, but on him. With somebody else.
Again, I don't remember any of this. And I'm pretty sure I've never met (or slept with) any of the other contributors on this blog, but how can I be sure about anything after seven Alabama Slammers? Which is why I stopped drinking. I realized that I don't need alcohol to socialize with bloggers. I'm much happier as a cokehead anyway. Thinner, too.
Now that I've quit drinking, will I finally stop embarrassing myself in public? Never. Why do you think I was invited to post here in the first place?
Nor do I remember meeting John Carney. But according to John and several witnesses, I made out on him at a party last year. Not with him, but on him. With somebody else.
Again, I don't remember any of this. And I'm pretty sure I've never met (or slept with) any of the other contributors on this blog, but how can I be sure about anything after seven Alabama Slammers? Which is why I stopped drinking. I realized that I don't need alcohol to socialize with bloggers. I'm much happier as a cokehead anyway. Thinner, too.
Now that I've quit drinking, will I finally stop embarrassing myself in public? Never. Why do you think I was invited to post here in the first place?
