Touch Me I'm Dork
The nominees for the Quill Awards have been announced. These authors have worked hard for your enjoyment and now it's your turn to do something. Let the ballot stuffing begin. (Click here to see the nominees in the Young Adult / Teen category and then read on for your assignment.)
Your first instinct will be to vote for "Eldest," by Christopher Paolini, because that dragon on the cover is awesome -- but don't. I used to play hours and hours of Dungeon and Dragons in Charlie Suffradini's basement back in Connecticut, and that dragon isn't authentic. Trust me. For one, it's missing horns; and for two things, our Dungeon Master said that if you look a dragon in the eye you'll be terrified to the point of paralysis. (Cheat code: Use your +3 silver reflecting shield and fight the hell-beast backward. Hope you have at least 18 Dexterity points!).
I'm lethargic but I'm not paralyzed, so it can't be a photo of a real dragon. Someone tried to pull a fast one, but I called them out. Good luck next year, Paolini.
We're not going to run through the rest of the nominees -- they're all finer than Jessica Alba's hump (you young adult / teen readers know what I'm talking about, yo. Give it up!). So, cutting to the chase, vote "King Dork," by Frank Portman. (He should actually also be up for Debut Author of the Year, too, but Julie Powell spent her advance rigging the category to keep him out of it.)
Though Frank is a close, personal friend of YM, you're commanded by official order of YM Grand Pooba Krucoff to dash over and vote appropriately. Anyone caught voting for a book other than "King Dork" will be shunned like the deformed monster they are.
If enough people provide a screen shot of a properly cast vote, we'll pick a winner at random to receive a free copy of the book. If only one or two people play along, then we'll just sell it on eBay.
Dig the Dork!
ps. Those of us housebound readers: Bookslut shows its cards on this matter, too.
Your first instinct will be to vote for "Eldest," by Christopher Paolini, because that dragon on the cover is awesome -- but don't. I used to play hours and hours of Dungeon and Dragons in Charlie Suffradini's basement back in Connecticut, and that dragon isn't authentic. Trust me. For one, it's missing horns; and for two things, our Dungeon Master said that if you look a dragon in the eye you'll be terrified to the point of paralysis. (Cheat code: Use your +3 silver reflecting shield and fight the hell-beast backward. Hope you have at least 18 Dexterity points!).
I'm lethargic but I'm not paralyzed, so it can't be a photo of a real dragon. Someone tried to pull a fast one, but I called them out. Good luck next year, Paolini.
We're not going to run through the rest of the nominees -- they're all finer than Jessica Alba's hump (you young adult / teen readers know what I'm talking about, yo. Give it up!). So, cutting to the chase, vote "King Dork," by Frank Portman. (He should actually also be up for Debut Author of the Year, too, but Julie Powell spent her advance rigging the category to keep him out of it.)
Though Frank is a close, personal friend of YM, you're commanded by official order of YM Grand Pooba Krucoff to dash over and vote appropriately. Anyone caught voting for a book other than "King Dork" will be shunned like the deformed monster they are.
If enough people provide a screen shot of a properly cast vote, we'll pick a winner at random to receive a free copy of the book. If only one or two people play along, then we'll just sell it on eBay.
Dig the Dork!
ps. Those of us housebound readers: Bookslut shows its cards on this matter, too.
