American Heroes: George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Steve Irwin

I am new to this blog. My name is Mike. I am inclined to say that I don't belong here because I am neither a Manhattanite, nor do I think I am young. I will be 31 later this month. But I hear that 31 is the new 27 or something like that. Remember when I was a kid and I thought that when I was 31 I would be married and have a couple of kids and I would coach Little League and I would be a New York Met? Remember that? It didn't happen. I do have a Mets hat, though, so I am halfway there.

Anyway, my point was this: someone got to my blog the other day by searching, "why do black people get matching shirts for family reunion".

At some point, don't you think the Internet will get smart enough where instead of getting search results for a question like that, it will just produce a page that says, "Seriously? You are really asking me that right now?"

Don't get me wrong. It's a fantastic fucking question. I mean, what would possess black people -- and only black people -- to get matching shirts for family reunion? Do they have some sort of weird camaraderie with their family?

Anyway, my point was this: I used to be a Manhattanite, but I lived in Washington Heights, which most people don't consider Manhattan. It's really high up there. Lots of people with matching shirts, if you know what I mean. What I mean is that there are lots of black people up there. But it's mostly Hispanic. I don't know their family reunion customs.

So I don't know any of the other people who post on this blog. I have not made out with or on any of them at parties. All they did was say "Hi, you can type letters on this blog if you'd like" and I said "I'd like."

I hope they don't kick me off now after I just wasted this space. I just wanted to get my name out there.