Morsels

The Extreme Sport of Origami.
The star of the field is 23 year old Japanese man, Satoshi Kamiya, whose incredibly intricate paper sculptures have over 200 folds, in some cases. Fellow countryman and similarly aged Takeru Kobayashi, the reiging champion of the extreme sport of competitive eating, has comissioned Kamiya to fold 57 origami hot dogs which Kobayashi hopes to comsume in under 20 minutes. This would break the record for paper eating currently held by my best friend in 3rd grade, Chris Elm, who broke the record during a particularly difficult recess in 1978. Incidentally, Elm also holds the paste eating record, 3 tubes of Elmer's glue in under 9 minutes, a record most experts agree will never be broken.

Dudes, I got my tickets.
You guys going? I think there's still some left.

What time is it?
"The Samrat Yantra in Jaipur, India is the largest sundial ever built. Its gnomon is 73 ft. tall, and its time-scale is marked off in intervals of two seconds." Is your gnomon 73 ft. tall? Didn't think so.

Iran plane crash kills at least 90.
Bangkok Post reports that a Tupolev-154 plane operated by the Iran Air Tours company caught fire and crashed, killing all passengers and crew, while attempting to land. Reuters reports that the smoke from the wreckage was so intense that they didn't even have to boot up Photoshop this morning.

They's just jealous.
In a stunning act of wish-fulfillment, UK broadcaster Channel 4 has produced a mock documentary (a...mock-umentary, if you will) entitled Death of a President, depicting the fictional assasination of US President Bush in the year 2007. By the way, I'm typing this from a federal prison after doing some online research for this story. Thanks a lot, Google.

Short leash.
Cesar Millan, the popular dog-trainer known as the "Dog Whisperer" because he whispers gently into the ears of his canine conquests while ironically fucking them from behind, is "preparing to release his own 'Illusion' collar and leash set, named for his wife" (emphasis Cesar's) because he makes her wear a similar verison while he ironically fucks her from the front.

I'm pretty sure there's no better way to end a post than with dog-fucking. Have a nice holiday.