These Go to Akron, OH

Back when Lasagnafarm.com was in full mojo, Cronos (of thrash met'lers Venom) was kind enough to stop by the studio to write a self-help column for us. (Mantas, Abaddon, The Demolition Risk, and War Maniac were apparently too busy for our knitting-tips segment that predated the current craze. Who's laughing now, satanists?) Though he did coin the term "black metal," we had no idea how articulate Cronos could be. We knew ahead of time he was no Joachim Krauledat, but suffice to say, Cronos' verbal acumen is legion among linguistics departments. You certainly wouldn't know it from the between-song bantering heard on this audio clip though.

Venom - "Between-song spieling [no music]"