Giants of Silence

We usually avoid talking about "news of the day" items until years after they happen when all the public blim-blammery has fallen to the wayside at which point our unique and advantageous perspective is best appreciated. Of course that doesn't stop people from incessantly asking for our gold-crusted opinion in the meantime. We're lovers, not biters and the least we can do is high-five the hands that massage our hyper-fragile egos. No flinching...

Alec Baldwin: We have one rule here, don't talk shit about a person's family life. Besides the bad karma and bumps of cruising the low road, how someone conducts such affairs is his or her own business. Plus, we loved his bathroom fart take in Along Came Polly.

Virginia Tech: We are part of the pro pellet gun lobby but that's where we draw the line - about 15 yards away. Citizens need nothing more for personal safety and self-defense against empty beer cans and bottles.

Peter Braunstein: "Dr. Groovy"? 'A' for effort, heavily medicated bliss in a padded cell for the rest of his life.

Calacanis Linkbait: In like Katrina, out like a calzone. Honestly dude, just gimme some of your money.

HD-DVD Code: No fucking clue.

Disclosure: We are proud hypocrites who live in saran wrap houses and throw scissors. As Lightning McQueen would say, ka-chow!