Hi Mom, Please Send Vicodin: Dead Horse Pool Edition

"Don't you ever lower yourself forgetting all your standards."
-Adam Ant

My back is killing me. I can barely move. Seriously. I'm hoping the vertabraic revolution will be anesthetized. Right now I am typing upside down as I lay in bed with a laptop harness strapped around my lower torso. (The intense battery heat from a PowerBook G4 provides much therapeutic relief.) I'll skip the obnoxious popping of thought balloons but such are the signs of aging and my determination to maintain a carbon neutral lifestyle in the company of careless 24 year olds.

Anyway, restraint has never been an arrow in my quiver (jesus, could I get any more gay? ed.- yes, talk to yourself and use exclamation points!) so I'm gonna cannonball right into this game of shouting out bland item quotes in search of a point, not unlike watching retards play Marco Polo at the pool.

...says that Spiers was largely responsible "for creating the tone and approach that a lot of the blogs on the Internet are following."

"She has always left these places when they were at the top of their game."

"Elizabeth has achieved more than almost anyone I know -- and on her own without anyone handing her anything."

Reading Jon Friedman's MarketWatch column on Elizabeth Spiers you can't help but feel as if you're staring at the empty cage of an 800 lb gorilla. The beast has left the room and is on the loose, quite adept at ducking and covering up the footprints of archaeological (in this sense, both archaic and logical) truth. Someone's gotta clean up the mess and I'm well equipped to work with strange odors. Hard to fault Friedman for the clumsiness and maybe I'm just feeling sorry for him (like those retards at the pool) but how come no one is reporting the real story on what went down with her and Dead Horse Media? I mean, it's out there for the taking but the Gawkers, Radars, ETPers, etc won't touch it with a ten-foot friendship stick.

It's no secret that Elizabeth miraculously managed to get "fired" (hey, it's all good when you put it in quotes) from her own company - this is after getting fired, or more accurately but no less severe, being told that her contract would not be renewed by NY Mag and Mediabistro in previous years - and the investors were so sick of her that they bought her out. Someone else will have to supply the grittier details but I imagine her "lack of work ethic" as Nick Denton and Lockhart Steele used to put it, had something to do with it.

God knows what Dead Horse paid to buy her out and off their backs but I'm sure she can finish her book without having to go back to being a "freelance equity analyst" (or, "I couldn't get a real banking job with my $100,000 Duke sweatshirt") which these days you can qualify for in under 60 mins.

Of course Spiers will blather on and on about what previous employers will say "on the record" which is not nearly as interesting or honest as what they'd say off of it.

Post Value: One kosher slurpee or 7 Minutes in Heaven with Laurel Touby