A Long Short
I forget which one, but one of those old Gawker Blogorrhea regulars - who you never actually clicked on unless there was a certain promise of possible nudity - had a post on how to alienate your audience. Very amateur stuff. Photos of herpes sores and other epidermal oddities if I remember correctly. I thought, my friend, you have it all wrong. Cheap gagging works better without so much sugar on the spoon. At YM we specialize in reader alienation and to a lesser extent, eating utensils. We ignore the pre-'05 borders and build this wall with the baked-in purpose to weed out the undesirables. They are the ones we let keep guard.
A more effective route to making your blog an island, without employing all those cool self-mutilation tricks, is to hammer on a few notes which serve no one: repetitive blog bashing (I suggest picking one target and sticking at it for YEARS), endless self/friend promotion - take credit for everything (oh I won the DATEHOLE Knocked-Up contest and they called me the "VD of blogging"!) and don't be afraid to include non-achievements like links to a photo gallery of a wild drunk night out (you're cool, tell the world!), baby pics (have we gone there? I don't think so but I'll put it on the agenda) and there are the new classics which involve rogue taxidermy, obnoxious philanthropy and posts that explain your blogging process.
If you're highly advanced, you can even alienate contributors to your blog. You know, those people who toil infrequently, almost never, yet selflessly with no hope of proper acknowledgment no matter how many times you try to convince people you have a group blog. Also, promo flyers like the one below work. 99 is probably tunneling to Ohio right now.
Trace points out that our "short shorts" trend is catching on. I inform him that one of my earliest memories of Vice magazine was an article years ago on Electroclash. I'm not sure if it was at the beginning or end of its initial Williamsburg run but there was a line about "bald pussies peeking out of short skirts." The imagery kinda sticks on ya.
A more effective route to making your blog an island, without employing all those cool self-mutilation tricks, is to hammer on a few notes which serve no one: repetitive blog bashing (I suggest picking one target and sticking at it for YEARS), endless self/friend promotion - take credit for everything (oh I won the DATEHOLE Knocked-Up contest and they called me the "VD of blogging"!) and don't be afraid to include non-achievements like links to a photo gallery of a wild drunk night out (you're cool, tell the world!), baby pics (have we gone there? I don't think so but I'll put it on the agenda) and there are the new classics which involve rogue taxidermy, obnoxious philanthropy and posts that explain your blogging process.
If you're highly advanced, you can even alienate contributors to your blog. You know, those people who toil infrequently, almost never, yet selflessly with no hope of proper acknowledgment no matter how many times you try to convince people you have a group blog. Also, promo flyers like the one below work. 99 is probably tunneling to Ohio right now.
Trace points out that our "short shorts" trend is catching on. I inform him that one of my earliest memories of Vice magazine was an article years ago on Electroclash. I'm not sure if it was at the beginning or end of its initial Williamsburg run but there was a line about "bald pussies peeking out of short skirts." The imagery kinda sticks on ya.
