Rex Education

Rex Sorgatz, the Dr. Zaius of the Internet, first threw a wild elbow at Gawker and now he chimney-sweeps the sea legs of Stereogum. (Dude, aren't you coming to NYC this summer? Keep that shit up and you'll be timesharing a barstool in an empty joint with me.) Mighty big mouse-clickin' words from a guy responsible for producing two of the most recent ballistically-challenged shots in the dark corner of social vapidware by Big Media Eyeballs Flying-In The-Face Of-People Eaters: an RSS-enabled Breakout clone that struggles to hold interest for more than a New Media Minute and a lofty goal-driven news predictor that's nothing more than a desperate attempt to turn cheesy watered-up online polls into fresh meat served with a glass of Malbec. I turn to one of our elder baitsmen, the gaffable Joe Rogan, for a worthy phrase-tweaking: "evidently, wow is not a factor for you."

Do I need to go on? Of course I do, but that's my signal to stop. Burnt the toast again. Fuck.