You cannot qualify the ban in harsher terms than I will

Gentleman: I have your letter of the 11th, in the nature of a petition to revoke our legally dead animals and Chinatown refuse from Atlanta. I have read it carefully with hawk eyes, in a jar, and give no credit to your bromidic statements of distress that have occasioned by ghost-like members of your infinitesimal public access television community who cannot grasp artistic expression outside of a yard sale or BeDazzler convention. I shall not revoke my orders, to perform in-home demonstrations with quality knives and latex gloves at no obligation to you other than a small investment in air deodorizer, because they were not designed to meet the humanities of the cause, but to prepare for the future struggles in which millions of non-commercial carcasses outside of Atlanta have a deep, but hopefully not too buried, interest. We must secure pieces of bobwhite quail, not only at Atlanta, but in all America. To achieve this, we must stop the prairie dogs of war which are arrayed against the laws and Constitution that all must respect and obey. Abracadaver!

In true YM spirit, we're taking it to the streets. Nate writes:

You're invited on a FREE tour of the New York City Chinatown Garbage. Did you know you could make art out of dead animals? YES! I am going to show you how to collect dead animals from the garbage in Chinatown to make your own personal taxidermy! This is the first NYC CHINATOWN GARBAGE TAXIDERMY TOUR! You will learn how to dig in the garbage for dead animals. You can make art out of these animals. It's really cool! I've found everything from sharks to frogs to plain old unidentifiable crap. Sometimes I find nothing interesting, but that is what makes it fun. You never know! RSVP is appreciated but not all required. RAIN OR SHINE.

DATE: THURSDAY, JUNE 14TH

TIME: 10PM

MEET: THE SOUTHEAST CORNER OF CANAL STREET AND LAFAYETTE STREET

ABOUT ME (YOUR GUIDE): My name is Nate Hill, a Brooklyn artist who makes new animals from dead animal parts. I sew together random animal parts to make a new animal that doesn't really exist (see pic below). Many of the parts I have used over the years have come from Chinatown's garbage.

WHAT TO WEAR: I suggest wearing clothes you don't mind getting dirty. Long-sleeve shirts are also good to keep your arms clean. Also fully enclosed shoes are recommended.

THE FOLLOWING ITEMS WILL BE PROVIDED: latex gloves, first aid kit, wet wipes, and antibacterial gel.

DISTANCE: We're not going to be walking far. The tour consists of my favorite spots that are just within a few blocks of each other.

HOW YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THE GUIDE: I will be holding an 8x11 sign that reads "CHINATOWN TOUR".

WHAT TO BRING: You may want to bring a plastic bag if you want to take a souvenir with you. You may also want to bring a flashlight, though I've never used one. I search by "feel".

DURATION OF THE TOUR: About 45 minutes.

TRAIN DIRECTIONS: Take any train to Canal street and walk to the meeting point.

DISCLAIMER: I cannot prevent you from injury on this tour. Rummage at your own risk. I have never been injured when digging my hands in fish crap, but the possibility is always there. SAFETY FIRST. Beware of sharp objects. It is very important that you are very careful and move your hands slowly. Treat that box of dead fish like a lady.

EVEN MORE IMPORTANT: After the tour is finished, I invite you to drinks at the bar Home Sweet Home located at 131 Chrystie St at Delancey street.

You may want to investigate other "rogue taxidermists" before coming to the tour.