Hate Planchette

Photo: Weegee

After two years and 60+ comments on his post about Weegee neé Arthur Fellig, Sac speaks to his audience: spirit-tempting teenagers.

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Hello, fellow travelers. I am the one who wrote this post about the Weegee Board, heck, it seems so long ago now. I was a different person then. I thought the Weegee Board was just a toy, something to pass the time with while I was getting drunk alone in my apartment. I can't tell you how wrong I was. I only wish I could go back to that time, before I ever messed with the dark forces. Now my life is forever haunted by what I experienced at the helm of the Weegee Board. I've seen things no man, woman, child or man-child should ever see. Faces from beyond frozen in twisted, tortured screams. The sounds of shrieking children. Cold, clammy hands grasping at my drawstring pants, pulling at them as if to strip me to my underclothes. Some men pay for such experiences in far-off places like Siam, but those men are fools, and also, they have more money than I do and can afford the plane ticket.

Have you ever awoken in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, your socks at either corner of the room, the windows open, the shower on at full blast and the words "Shut up, little man" written in steam upon the mirror? That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. That is what lies ahead of you if you continue to tempt the Weegee Board. Don't think it won't happen to you.

I leave you with this, weary rag-tags. Stay away from the Weegee Board! If one approaches you on the street, clap your hands to your sides three (3) times and shout "Away from me!" If that does not work, summon a beat cop immediately. If even that fails to drive away the Weegee Board, then contact the Parker Brothers company, a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc., at 888-836-7025 (not accessible from Canada). They will know what to do.

# posted by sac : 3:26 PM, July 10, 2007