As American As Cottleston Pie

July 1997, free concert with Guided By Voices and Sleater-Kinney at Central Park Summerstage. Enthusiastic turnout yet spaciously comfortable, meaning you were "in a crowd" but a guy had room to walk around with a bodega fruit salad and offer smoke to unsuspecting couples and their third-wheel friend.

This shitty photograph is my souvenir from being there with Bucknellians Dina and Wayne. No doubt I am 5 degrees cooler in your eyes now. The encore was a guitar/vocals only version of "Your Name Is Wild" by Bob Pollard and Doug Gillard. It was sweet and dream-like, but maybe that was the fruit salad. I wanted it to last for...not ever, that wouldn't make much sense, but 5 more minutes would've worked for me.

There's no way this show could happen today. Not a chance. Snowball in a microwave, a pall of cheerful compassion shining over Petrograd during February and March 1916, Brian Van in Julia Allison's pants, etc.

For one, it's now 11am and considering the necessary permits, personnel commitments and equipment rentals, it's a logistical impossibility. You'd have more luck building a rocket to Venus by happy hour. (Ask Buck for the Hampden Special.) Also, the bands are broken up. But all of that aside, the biggest problem would be the lines. By the time you got to the front, the show would be over.

In fact, it was over before you even knew about it.