Global Penetration

That was the name that a band I was in before the internet was invented gave to a truncated tour of some of the lesser known dive bars of the West Coast. I think we ended up in Visalia playing to a mixed crowd of aging white alcoholic farmers and the migrant workers they employed. Needless to say, both groups could instantly relate to our brand of pampered suburban pseudo-punk. They particularly enjoyed the song "Living at Mom and Dad's." We truly reached across the aisle on that one.

Anyhoo, when I walked into my local burrito shop not 30 West Coast minutes ago to enjoy my chicken burrito with black beans and hot salsa that I aspergically order every time I go there, I raised my eyes to the teevee that hangs behind the register and felt globally penetrated as there was our own Ms. Julia Allison. The sound was thankfully muted, but the caption read something like "Relationships 101: How to survive if you're not a preternaturally hott media whore from NYC" or something similar. This was on KCRA, one of the local stations around here, which meant either that she was In The Vicinity™ or that KCRA had perfected holographic technology. I was hoping for the latter, but I sensed a vapidness in the force that could only be attributed to JA.

Hmm, while walking back from the burrito shop, I thought this would be a funny post. Turns out I was...correct. Who am I kidding. I can't do no wrong.