My 10 Commandments

1. Thou shalt not sew animal parts onto thine body.

Then Nate took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to live, explore the possibilities of creation, and make new animals. Nate told the man, "You are free to use any of the animal parts that grow from the plants and trees in the garden to create your animals. But do not sew animal parts from the tree of knowledge of good and evil to your own body. For the day you sew these parts to your own body is the day you die. (Genesis 2)

2. Thou shalt not sew together any of the original animals of earth which Nate sewed together in the first days. Nate did not make these to be copied. These animals are blank canvases for thee to improvise upon. To copy them is like a painter making a painting of a canvas.

Then Nate said, "The animals that I have sewn together are blank canvases. In other words, they are prototypes. Let Us make man like Us and let him create his own animals with these canvases that I have given him. He shall have the fish of the sea, the birds of the air and the cattle. And over all the earth, every thing that moves on the ground, man shall use for his creation of new animals." (Genesis 1)

3. Thou shalt not cut parts from the body of man.

Now the earth was sinful in the eyes of Nate. The earth was filled with people hurting each other. People were killing their kin for their body parts. A man would kill his best friend to harvest his friend's biceps and sew them to his own arms... These were sick times. (Genesis 6)

4. Thou shalt not use mechanical sewing methods.

So Abraham prayed that the surgery would be successful, though he knew that in Nate’s hands there could be no mistake with the needle. Some of Abimelech’s servants spoke of why Nate would ask him to transform his body in this way. To many, Nate’s requests were never understood. But He was obeyed because he was Nate. (Genesis 20)

5. Thou shalt ascend the tower and consult with Nate for help with thy art.

So the men built the tower all the way to the heavens just as they had dreamed. They wanted to consult with Nate, they wanted to challenge Nate, but most of all, they wanted to learn from Nate. Nate appeared riding a new animal cloud and said, "Hello! It is wonderful that you, good people, have tried to reach the Heavens that I have created. You are trying to attain My greatness! This amuses me and I am impressed with your courage. Now, what new animals have your brought for me?" Nate looked at the bags full of new animals they brought and he offered His help with each one. After talking with Him, the people would rush back down the tower to incorporate Nate's suggestions. As the day closed, Nate said to all, "This is only the beginning of what you will do. Now, all you plan to do will be possible. I am proud of you. Thank you for your questions and your tributes. Keep working. You will get it right one day." (Genesis 11)

6. Thou shall worship no other artists but Me.

"This thing comes from Nate, the Creator. Therefore, we cannot speak for or against it...” (Genesis 24)

7. Every man should cut off thy penis and replace it with an animal penis. This is an agreement between Nate and the sons of Abraham. For this, Nate promised His sons a home in the land of Canaan forever.

Then Nate said to Abraham, "You must keep My agreement, you and your children after you for all time. This is My agreement between Me and you and your children after you, which you must obey: Every man among you must have this religious act done. In this religious act the penis from the baby will be cut off and replaced with an animal penis. You may choose from which animal the penis comes from. This will be the special act of the agreement between Me and you. Every male child among you who is eight days old must have this religious act done, through all time. (Genesis 17)

8. Thou shalt not sew animal parts to the snake.

Then Nate said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" And the woman said, "The snake fooled me. That is why I did what I did." Then Nate said to the snake, "Because you have done this, you will be hated and will suffer more than any cattle, and more than every animal in the field. From this day forward, you will be the only animal in My kingdom who will not be a canvas for man or woman to add limbs unto. You will be footless for the rest of your days. You will go on your stomach and you will eat dust all the days of your life. Man will crush your head, and you will crush his heel." (Genesis 3)

9. Thou must use latex gloves.

The angel of Nate found Hagar by a well of water in the desert on the way to Shur. He said, "Hagar, you are Sarai's servant. Where have you come from and where are you going?" And she said, "I am running away from Sarai. I have Abram's baby with me. Sarai's hands are stained with the blood of many animals. Should a baby be touched with such hands? My hands are clean and worthy of this gift from Nate." Then the angel of Nate said to her, "Return to your boss. Put yourself under her power. Making new animals is not a sin when it is done carefully. In fact, it is the highest honor to Nate, which I'm sure you already know. But gloves are necessary." (Genesis 16)

10. Thou shalt teach the children of the world to sew animals together.

Then Nate got up and looked down toward Sodom. Abraham got up too to see them off. Nate thought to Himself, "Should I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, since Abraham will become a great and powerful nation, because good will come to all the nations of the earth through him? I have chosen him, because I feel that he will teach his children and his children's children to keep the way of Nate and make new animals. In turn, I will bring to Abraham what I have promised him." (Genesis 18)