Kermit The Blog.Or: It's Tuesday and We'll Phone It In If We Want To.

The author in less conflicted times.

Krucoff's out, doing the right thing, as is his wont. In his absence, girl Dana has been charged with keeping our traffic within an acceptable range of measurable fractions. Word was there would be little more than what she could gin up (and maybe some dead animals, too) to keep you otherwise occupied this week. We decided to take the bait, but since we were too lazy to come up with anything original to say ourselves, we figured it would be easier to cull our favorite entries from the diary of one Kermit T. Frog. It is hoped that new YM Friend® Mike Dobbins will let this blatant rip slide.

June 1st, 2007

Piggy is sleeping upside down in the closet again. I've told her that she has to face the fact that we are not bats. I brought her coffee and a scone and tried to talk to her about her frustration with what kind of animal I am. She angrily said that it was no use talking since I did not have bat teeth or bat wings. She mentioned divorce and I just threw the scone and broke a picture of me, Robin, and Piggy fishing in Utah. I tried to cool down out on my backyard deck. I used to talk to Robin out there about Piggy. Shouldn't have fogged his mind with me and Piggy's disfunction. He was just a kid.

The market just hit 13,000 points. So officially, I'm a millionaire. I still feel like crap about Piggy.

June 4th, 2007

Just got back from Costco. I was in and out unusually quick. It was uncomfortably quiet in the store and that freaked me out. I called Piggy to see if we were still going to take Marvin to Spiderman 3. Marvin is in the Big Brother program which unless I forgot, entails a male mentor and a little guy...no Piggy. But because she doesn't trust me in front of other males when females come around, even concession stand attendants, she will be accompanying us. But I can drive to Costco and buy bulk Kotex (humiliating and embarrassing) f'ing up the whole Big Brother image thing. It really boils me up inside. I caught her with soo many.......what does it matter. She wins.

Off to watch Spiderman 3, whenever she gets home from Sears with whatever private verbal exchanges she harbors in her memories from her flirtatious encounters with appliance salesmen.

Tomorrow: Piggy acts out at the movies, while Kermit takes solace in the sweet, sweet sounds of The Boss.