Never put me in your box if your shit eats tapes

It's been, what, four weeks now? And this blogging strike has gotten me nowhere. Over at YM HQ, they're farting through silk, doing sweet fuck-all. I'm not waiting till the Rapture to get my goddamned rewards, do you hear me, Krucoff? I want a raise.

I need a raise because I need to buy another iPod, Krucoff. Never mind the fact that every iPod I've owned thus far has bricked on me after an average of 18 months. I'm a lame-ass pseudocreative "iconoclast" who will buy anything that's marketed as even remotely unique or hip and makes me feel like I'm commodifying my dissent. This next one will be my fourth. In the meantime, I will make due with my Walkman. [Ed note: Interesting that Firefox's spellcheck recognizes "Walkman" but not "iPod."] I found it last night in the Drawer of Obsolescence, along with three discarded cell phones, a broken digital camera, and a hand mirror with smeared fingerprints.
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The Walkman is about 15 years old, yet unlike my iPod, which was two years old when it expired last week, IT STILL FUCKING FUNCTIONS. Because I never throw anything away--vindicated at last!--I still have a box of tapes, including the fluorescent Maxells with recordings of WRPI shows from 1989 (Crystal Shit! Plastic Bertrand! Revolting Cocks?) and a mix I made for a party circa 1993, which I listened to this morning on my way to work: Jesus, whatever happened to Son of Bazerk? Eek, Erasure's cover of "Take a Chance on Me." Fishbone, interesting choice. Adam and the Ants; ahead of the curve or sadly behind? "Date Rape" by A Tribe Called Quest, acceptable. Something by Desmond Dekker, ok. "Oh Shit," by Pharcyde. And of course, at the end of side B, there's Suicide's "Frankie Teardrop," for when you want everyone to leave.

I have "Wig Out at Denko's" for the ride home. The bonus of having a Walkman is that everyone who sees it thinks you're crazy.

Dag Nasty, "Values Here" (P.S. I found out the other day that Dave Smalley's a fucking republican, so let me know if you want any more of his mp3s, I will gladly distribute them.)