Scene from a Jamaican Restaurant

Last Night's YM Confabatory at Red Stripe Lounge had dubious results.

Dana's proletariat stumps would make better mulch. It doesn't matter that she has an upstate cousin who spent time in jail for fucking a pig; she has "yacht friends" and schmoozes with the antique scene on Park Avenue.

Speaking of barnyard rumbles, she also said "I would rather drink from the dick of a goat" than hang out with Nick Denton. Throw in Maud and make it a double!

Nic (I'm gonna stop calling him "99" here, too writerly and my strike beard won't allow it) and Lauren Cerand demonstrated the Antioch Touching Game. (Different Town, Same Theme, Great Search Phrase: "Cockfighting Ring" Found In Antioch, Police Investigate)

Number of times a human mouth contorted to form, expel and pollute my personal space with the word "Mahalo": 1.

The Fuzz (or Curt or whatever, I'm not allowed to say his real name and yes, my strike beard is pretty pissed about that) has an irony-clad list of his favorite things: Chelsea Peretti, Moe Jezebel, Julia & Jakob (still!) and making a long-winded talk with a short peer.

Rex still hasn't "fixed New York." We're waiting.

The Newsvine guy is really into accidental anal sex. (Was that off the record?)

Jim Nachlin didn't make it but will next time.

The Red Stripe owner wanted me to tell all of you to come by Saturday night for some great food and drinks. I would but I'm off to celebrate MLK as I do every year, by refusing to sit in the back of the Jitney on my way to a long weekend of hot tubbing in Sag Harbor!