War of the worlds
In a bold move to counter Gawker’s online pre-eminence, Young Manhattanite said Friday that it had made an unsolicited offer to buy Gothamist for about 29 bucks and change in a mix of cash, stock and subway tokens. Gothamist’s fortunes have been declining steadily ever since it cluelessly commented about a story that was at least six years old.
If consummated, the deal would redraw the competitive landscape in Internet portals that suck worker productivity down black holes of endless speculation on the minuscule and links to celebrity boobs, where Young Manahttanite and Gothamist have both struggled to compete with Gawker.
The offer of 29 bucks and change represents a 62 percent premium over Gothamist's actual worth, estimated to be between zero and fuck off. It would be Young Manhattanite’s largest acquisition ever, not counting the time Krucoff’s mom commented about not being Brian Van’s nurse maid.
Young Manhattanite said the combination of the two companies would create efficiencies that would suck approximately 100,000 more man-hours a month than the current infrastructures allow. The blogging pip-squeak also said that it has an integration plan to include "employees" of both companies and intends to offer incentives to retain Gothamist employees, "except for fucking Dobkin."
Andrew "AK" Krucoff, the guy who pays 6 bucks a month to host Young Manhattanite, said that he called his Gothamist counterpart, Jake Dobkin, an asshole. Then he picked up a phone and called him on Thursday night to tell him that Young Manhattanite intended to bid on the company, and that they had a substantive discussion, ending in a string of epithets against each other’s bubbes. "I wouldn’t call it a courtesy call," he said in an interview.
"Don’t call it a comeback," added LL Cool J sagely.
In other news, very rich people stand to get even richer.
If consummated, the deal would redraw the competitive landscape in Internet portals that suck worker productivity down black holes of endless speculation on the minuscule and links to celebrity boobs, where Young Manahttanite and Gothamist have both struggled to compete with Gawker.
The offer of 29 bucks and change represents a 62 percent premium over Gothamist's actual worth, estimated to be between zero and fuck off. It would be Young Manhattanite’s largest acquisition ever, not counting the time Krucoff’s mom commented about not being Brian Van’s nurse maid.
Young Manhattanite said the combination of the two companies would create efficiencies that would suck approximately 100,000 more man-hours a month than the current infrastructures allow. The blogging pip-squeak also said that it has an integration plan to include "employees" of both companies and intends to offer incentives to retain Gothamist employees, "except for fucking Dobkin."
Andrew "AK" Krucoff, the guy who pays 6 bucks a month to host Young Manhattanite, said that he called his Gothamist counterpart, Jake Dobkin, an asshole. Then he picked up a phone and called him on Thursday night to tell him that Young Manhattanite intended to bid on the company, and that they had a substantive discussion, ending in a string of epithets against each other’s bubbes. "I wouldn’t call it a courtesy call," he said in an interview.
"Don’t call it a comeback," added LL Cool J sagely.
In other news, very rich people stand to get even richer.
