From the desk of the HVIC*
Scene: YM Headquarters
Krucoff: Dana, since you are the token female around here--well, we'll take your word for it--we need you to weigh in on Urbane Tomboys. Something like what Lindsay wrote. Only you say it here. And maybe say something insulting enough to get it linked on Gawker.
99 [on speakerphone]: I would just like to point out that I am currently in LA, awash in cocaine, blow jobs, and wine with vulgar alcohol content, and I have absolutely zero interest in discussing this matter. But do go on.
Me: I don't think I have anything to add to this. Wait, no: The fact that this Meredith woman is paid to write this pap is empirical evidence that the world owes me a goddamned living. Yeah, I think Lindsay covered everything that needed to be said, and she did it without using the pejorative term for a person with a mental handicap, which is better than I could muster. I pass.
Exeunt
No. Wait. I can add something more. Here's the deal: If you are a hot chick, it doesn't matter if you're in sweatpants; dudes will still hit on you. Hot chicks know this. That girl at Belmont Lounge wasn't dressed that way because she's an Urbane Tomboy. She was dressed that way because she was on her way home from the fucking Pilates studio on Irving.
Sidenote: Oh, and. As impossible as it may seem, I can attest to seeing a woman wearing a giant blanket in public. I was out with a dear friend (who shall remain unlinked because the YM boys have problems behaving around her) at one of the Maritime hotel bars and the DJ was clad in a serape-type garment. She was spinning some far-out tracks, too. Love Will Tear Us Apart! Bring On the Dancing Horses! Safety Dance! It was like being at the gym...with $14 cocktails. Next up, we had Can't Stand Losing and Young Americans and I'm all like Nice poncho, bitch.
And I know what you're thinking: What did you expect from a DJ at the Maritime? And also, what were you doing there? This is unimportant. The real question is: shouldn't an Urbane Tomboy DJ own--at the very least--a copy of Trout Mask Replica?
*Head Vag in Charge
Krucoff: Dana, since you are the token female around here--well, we'll take your word for it--we need you to weigh in on Urbane Tomboys. Something like what Lindsay wrote. Only you say it here. And maybe say something insulting enough to get it linked on Gawker.
99 [on speakerphone]: I would just like to point out that I am currently in LA, awash in cocaine, blow jobs, and wine with vulgar alcohol content, and I have absolutely zero interest in discussing this matter. But do go on.
Me: I don't think I have anything to add to this. Wait, no: The fact that this Meredith woman is paid to write this pap is empirical evidence that the world owes me a goddamned living. Yeah, I think Lindsay covered everything that needed to be said, and she did it without using the pejorative term for a person with a mental handicap, which is better than I could muster. I pass.Exeunt
No. Wait. I can add something more. Here's the deal: If you are a hot chick, it doesn't matter if you're in sweatpants; dudes will still hit on you. Hot chicks know this. That girl at Belmont Lounge wasn't dressed that way because she's an Urbane Tomboy. She was dressed that way because she was on her way home from the fucking Pilates studio on Irving.
Sidenote: Oh, and. As impossible as it may seem, I can attest to seeing a woman wearing a giant blanket in public. I was out with a dear friend (who shall remain unlinked because the YM boys have problems behaving around her) at one of the Maritime hotel bars and the DJ was clad in a serape-type garment. She was spinning some far-out tracks, too. Love Will Tear Us Apart! Bring On the Dancing Horses! Safety Dance! It was like being at the gym...with $14 cocktails. Next up, we had Can't Stand Losing and Young Americans and I'm all like Nice poncho, bitch.
And I know what you're thinking: What did you expect from a DJ at the Maritime? And also, what were you doing there? This is unimportant. The real question is: shouldn't an Urbane Tomboy DJ own--at the very least--a copy of Trout Mask Replica?
*Head Vag in Charge
