There IS a cabal
I just don't know what kind of cabal it is. Apparently all the menfolk are off at the YM Mount Weather today. Or the Bilderberg Conference. Or maybe they're drunk with John Carney? I'm puzzled. (If they don't turn up soon I'm going to post a giant essay about feminist fiber artists from the 70s. You heard me.)
It's empirical knowledge that only assholes celebrate St. Patrick's Day, and last year I pulled the Asshole Hat Trick and saw the Pogues on St. Patrick's Day in the company of a Brooklyn Hook and Ladder company that will go unnamed. Someone had some extra tickets. Nothing bad happened and the guards didn't even wand us, so I was able to sneak my flask of whiskey in. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so I spent some formative years in Savannah, a city that claims to have the second-largest St. Pat's festivities in the country. As 99 could probably attest (but won't), every year they dye the river green and they dye the beer green and they dye all those frozen grain alcohol daquiri-type drinks green.
The aftermath: Green puke, green piss, and the eventual green discharge. Tonight, the streets of NYC will be slithering with rape-y drunken distressed debt analyst types and corrections officers from Yonkers who couldn't pass the FDNY pull-up test. I will be doing...something.
Still Little Fingers, Alternative Ulster
It's empirical knowledge that only assholes celebrate St. Patrick's Day, and last year I pulled the Asshole Hat Trick and saw the Pogues on St. Patrick's Day in the company of a Brooklyn Hook and Ladder company that will go unnamed. Someone had some extra tickets. Nothing bad happened and the guards didn't even wand us, so I was able to sneak my flask of whiskey in. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so I spent some formative years in Savannah, a city that claims to have the second-largest St. Pat's festivities in the country. As 99 could probably attest (but won't), every year they dye the river green and they dye the beer green and they dye all those frozen grain alcohol daquiri-type drinks green.
The aftermath: Green puke, green piss, and the eventual green discharge. Tonight, the streets of NYC will be slithering with rape-y drunken distressed debt analyst types and corrections officers from Yonkers who couldn't pass the FDNY pull-up test. I will be doing...something.
Still Little Fingers, Alternative Ulster
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