My Other Car Is An Honor Student

Map of Memorial Day weekend which unexpectedly caught a tiger's tale of mountains, beaches, and casinos. Holla.

Randy re-designs and re-ups.
Grellan re-shuffles the decks.
Dennis rebuts and re-caps.
Josh reclines at the dinner table to signify freedom. Update your site, heeb.

Blogging Donnie Malkovich: One Act Play For An Audience of Three

Update: It's never fun explaining a joke, but if I must, this is all copy and paste movie quotes mixed with tweaked bits of email exchanges I've had with Sac, Gawkerist, Gage in an attempt to mock the accusations I'm all three of them and every other anonymous blog that sprouts up. If you really believe I am, that's flattering (or offensive?) since you give me way more credit (or disrespect?) than I'm entitled to. There might be some craziness to these methods (we're talking about blogging right?) but anonymous blogs are not part of the equation I promise. Enjoy...or don't read.
Update II: If ever words could disappear right before your very eyes then please ignore everything below. Gawkerist is Chris Mohney and he's the next Gridskipper. Blanked and spanked, I plant one more BJM quote: "I've been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech."

There's a tiny blog in that empty office. It's a portal. It takes you inside Krucoff. You see the world through Krucoff's eyes, then, after about fifteen minutes, you're spit out onto the Upper East Side.
Krucoff: First of all, I didn't create Gawkerist. Denton did. S/he was sent in as Denton's evil spy with the intention of destroying the bot village, but the overwhelming goodness of the bot way of life transformed her/him. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Bots are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white keyboards. That's what's so illogical, you know, about having a blog. What's the point of blogging if you don't have a dick to write with?
Anonymous Blogger1: Whatever, you're still kinda fucked. Everyone thinks you're us.
Anonymous Blogger2: Yeah Krucoff, all any of us have to do is talk about blogs, throw in some Gawker references, and you're fingered more than Jess Coen on prom night!! Hey-Oh! (Love ya, babe.)
Krucoff: Nice one, are you stealing the lines I steal now? It's that type of shit that keeps certain individuals constantly accusing me of these antics and I've NEVER done an anonymous blog. Ever! I swear on the lives of my nieces and nephews. I don't fuck around with that. Gage, back me up.
Chris Gage: Hot lesbian witches! It's fucking genius!
Private chat
AB2: What's his problem?
AB1: He has his doctorate in blog impedimentology from Case Western.
AB2: Ahh. Meet you in Krucoff in one hour.
Krucoff: You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.
Chris Gage: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit? Gage leaves chat
AB2: Hey AB1, did he try to use that "swearing on lives" technique to out you as Sac or Gage too?
Krucoff: Fellas, I had to. I have seen a world that NO man should see!
AB1: Well, I am Sac and yes he tried to pull that shit when he had no doubt I was Gawkerist. I toyed with him a little. I would wait 30+ mins to respond and the delay would freak him out like a case of Jolt mixed with Buzzmachine. You should have seen the email exchange I had with him. Frankly I feared for the kid. Wait, who are you AB2?
AB2: Gawkerist! WTF? I feel like like I'm talking to myself. We're supposed to be "the same person" therefore implicating Krucoff as both of us, remember? I enjoyed the frantic emailing as well, except the part about my girlfriend in the emergency room, but I cut him slack since he's unemployed and we're actually keeping this act up from work. I forget if that makes us more sad than him.
AB1: He's worse. Why should I mourn for Krucoff like he was human?
Krucoff: I'm right here, dicks! Have you ever had two blogs look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes? Now how the fuck do I clear my name?? No one believes me. The more vigorously I protest, the more they're convinced I'm behind the blogs.
AB1: With all due respect, Krucoff, It's MY blog.
Krucoff: It's MY HEAD, Sac. It's MY head!
Giant evil rabbit "SomeBlogs" enters chat
Giant evil rabbit "SomeBlogs" leaves chat
AB2: I think it's kinda sexy that Krucoff has anonymous blogs, y'know, sort of like, it's like, like he has a vagina. It's sort of vaginal, y'know, like he has a, he has a blog AND a vagina. I mean, it's sort of like... Krucoff's... feminine side. I like that.
Krucoff: There is truth, and there are lies, and art always tells the truth. Even when it's lying.
AB1: I promise, that one day, everything's going to be better for you. You can start by putting an end to this embarrassing internal dialogue device because 1) you are doing an awful job by butchering our lines 2) this only makes you look even more...

Jersey Turnpike: Thunderous, almost mythological, rumbling fills the air. Mysterious jet engine plunges into ditch on side of the road. No one is hurt. Mystery solved within 15 minutes. Newark Airport is less than 1 mile away.
Stanton Street: Krucoff wakes up, goes to bathroom, returns to bed. An hour later he decides to update his blog(s).

Dear Nick Denton, I have reached the end of your writer's contract and... there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to. [publish post]

Ed. Note: Please excuse the Inside-Bloodbath here. This will all go away by June 6th when I start a job which will put an end to it all. Just getting it out of my system now. Then I'll concentrate exclusively on Manhattan follies and worldwide crime! Have a great weekend, off to Vermont.

Divester Bar Brawl

I can't believe how the mad-haters trolling on Calacanis's informative and very interesting post on Google Adsense have turned the discussion into an analysis of Divester's design. I'd like to see how those fools would fashion a wet suit around a scuba-diving blog. More on this later, I need to collect my thoughts.

Radar Love

So you've had a rough day. It's only the third rainy day of your recently purchased $4 umbrella's life and Evil Mary Poppins has already decided to attack that Made-By-Vachinas piece of crap, reducing its purpose to sidewalk-kill. Now you're forced to walk from 1st Ave to the 6 train without cover and the use of your iPod. Also, you're still pretty bummed about missing [band] at NorthSix the other night and [name of boy/name of girl] hasn't returned your text message from this morning. What do you do? You let it all out by blogging it of course.

But you're thinking maybe this post shouldn't be read by anyone with Internet access this time. Sure you could leave it in draft mode, even write it in a Word doc, but that won't do because even though no one else should know these personal thoughts, it's therapeutic just putting them...out there. They're a satellite of your soul which only you need to communicate with but still you dream of some alien life discovering that chunk of twisted, tortured scrap metal and will understand its flawed foundation, able to repair it by soldering with its own wandering hovermyspacelivejournalcraft.

Solution: Slap one of these suckers at the top of a post before publishing it for an iron-clad guarantee no one will read your personal-junk-posts and only the archive in your gigantic head will know they're there. (No traffic back restrictions do apply.)

OMGfather

I knew it. Girls really do burn the Sappho candle from both ends when they get together and guys aren't around. Flickr Lickr.

(These pics are much tamer than what I've led on. I just wanted to be the first person to use "OMGfather" cause I didn't see it come up on a Google search.)

My Enthusiasm Is Curbed

I would be in dereliction of duty if I didn't congratulate Lockhart on Curbed's one year anniversary. So I'll do it in the only way I know how...

Honestly, real estate bores me to tears and I could count the number of times I've read the site on one preoccupied hand. I think for the first couple of years you live in NYC, maybe 3, real estate is the all-consuming preoccupation of your daily thoughts. Everything revolves around it because it's such a huge drain on your monthly expenses even though you spend most of your time trying not to be in your apartment. You become a prisoner in this new and strange world of:

(sing to the tune of "It's the End of Rent Stabilization As We Know It (And I Feel Fucked))

Broker fees, no-fee apt lists, Craigslist, nightmare stories of finding a place to live and staying on friends' couches, all-encompassing bad roommate situations (deserves its own list), six story walk-ups, the luxury of an elevator and maybe a doorman, converted 1-2-3 bdrms for 2-3-4 or more people, looking at a fuse box that pre-dates the Statute of Electricity, experiments in dry wall and shelving, broken toilets, showering at the gym during week long hot water boiler repairs, clumps of ceiling that fall due to bathroom leaks from apt above, floors with the topography of a golf course, lazy or nowhere-to-be-found supers, taking landlords to court...even for attempted murder, convincing yourself that you can actually throw a party in your tiny studio, heating and cooling your giant loft deal of the century, bedroom views of brick walls, no kitchen, half a kitchen, bathrooms in kitchens, six apartments in six years, worries of that new trendy grocery or bars will raise the rents, subway line considerations, making comments like:

"should I finally move to Brooklyn?", "Astoria can't be that bad, right?", "I would never live above 14th Street", "I'm all for/against gentrification", "SAY NO TO GREEDY DEVELOPERS WITH NO COMMUNITY TIES!", "whoa, are you sure it was a rat?", "I really really wish I never signed that lease", "now this is an awesome roof, I bet you could sleep out here during the summer", "yeah but think of the all money you're gonna spend taking taxis on weekend nights", "that's too too far out on the L", "the commute is really not bad, it's on the F line", "I would love to live in this place...if I had a million dollars", "what the hell goes on up there? do they rearrange their fuckin' furniture every goddamn night?", "how do I measure square footage with this stupid thing sticking out all crazy-like?", "whoever designed this was a real asshole"

hearing neighbors have sex, never knowing your neighbors but still trying to figure out the coitus-in-stereous couple through your door's peephole the next day, passive-aggressive notes left above mailboxes or on front door like "PLEASE be a good neighbor and make sure you shut the door securely or we will all be victims of ass-rape" and "To whoever keeps taking my New York Times, you're invited over for brunch every Sunday, Apt 6W. Bring some reading material!", and neighbors who complain about your party at 2am on a Saturday night and finding yourself screaming at this douchebag in the hallway, "I don't give a FUCK what kind of doctor you are!!"

Of course these lists could go on forever but I ask, does it ever really get old? Hold that thought, you're wrong. The answer is absolutely yes, it really does get older than the 400 year old ladies you see in Chinatown. I would address commercial real estate but I have even less of an opinion on that. New buildings go up, groups of people always try to fight it, they lose. Protests surrounded the construction of the Chrysler Building as well as the original World Trade Center to no avail, this will go on and on forever with every new project.

Real estate is the cocktail conversation topic that barely manages a pulse and every attempt to escape its death sentence should be made. It's worse than bringing up religion or politics. At least with those...shit, I'm coming up empty on an intelligent "at least with those" remark with worldly insight. I dunno, I'm sure it has something to do with people, money, and assholes. That said, there's a huge and limitless audience for this stuff. Never underestimate the depravity of human interaction.

So I offer sincere congrats to Lock on a fantastic year that brought many tk, tk, tk that are accomplishments any blogger would be proud to own and I hope you have many more. You run a class operation and the only thing holding you back now is the Gawker Media plank walk of death you're on. It's gonna drown your superior name in a sea of editorial mediocrity. Ditch that sinking pontoon and set Curbed's course for Sag Harbor. Home, James!

Murder One For All

Quick take: Looking for bloggers, or anyone not eating lunch through a feeding tube, to collaborate on a crime blog. One post per weekday (no word count or time of day requirements) is all the commitment we need. No advertising, no money, but you get all the street cred of a neighborhood bully. We're doing this for our love of getaway dunebuggies and the low-flying helicopters that chase them.

5-part miniseries version: There's a scene at the end of a Law & Order episode where Briscoe talks to an old friend/retired cop who committed a sole but highly crooked act while on the force which was revealed when a cold case file was re-opened and finally solved by the current crew. The disgraced cop asks, "Do you still respect me, Lenny?" and Briscoe replies, "All day long, Tommy, all day long." That's when it hit me...what is this fuckin' horseshit I've been sludging through everyday for the past 2 months, ALL DAY LONG?? (This was in March, I now fear daytime programming.) I'll admit I enjoyed a fair amount of it, especially the Angie Harmon years, or maybe exclusively the Angie Harmon years. When I thought a plot was too boring they'd usually throw in enough of a twist and cute-but-tough Asst D.A. action to keep me from switching to VH1 Classic's All Star Jams. But truthfully, most of the time I felt like I was watching Crime Drama for Dummies.

Much of the problem has to do with its format. Each episode covers one case from beginning to end. The first half hour is the "law" part where detectives finger and nail a suspect; the second half serves a steaming plate of "order" as Sam Waterson prosecutes the case with a sense of self-importance considerably more than when promoting TD Waterhouse. It's a simple design which doesn't involve any season-long story arcs which translates into syndication heaven since you can follow any one episode with no regard to another. Except if you're keeping track of Briscoe's horribly hacked-off one-liners. (People think he's the quinessential NYPD detective portrayed on television? I'd spend a week on Rikers Island if that honor wasn't Dennis Franz's Sipowicz.)

Why I am analyzing something that you either already know or couldn't give two chili-coke shits about? First, let me add that I also like World's Wildest Police Videos, City Confidential, Forensic Files, Catherine Crier on Court TV, and cop porn. "These handcuffs aren't the only thing tight around here, officer..." This is all perfunctory background to illustrate my moderate interest and fascination with crime. The rest of the country is addicted even more if A&E's new crime and investigation network and the launch of Justice magazine are any indication.

Unaware of either of those media developments, Chris Gage and I have been planning to do a crime blog for as long as I can remember which dates back to February of this year. You would think The Smoking Gun would have one but they don't. While researching the idea I easily found over 100 blogs covering crime in one form or another, from 2nd Amendment gun freaks to literature types into crime fiction. So we came up with the idea of Blottered.com to be a catch-all repository of the more interesting local crime blotter stories, some celeb crime, crime shows and books commentary, the full spectrum of guns, weapons, torture devices ("that band sucks! lock them in the shame-flute!"), bounty hunters, drugs, historic crimes, pretty much anything that involves enforcing and breaking the law.

One problem though, I realized there's no way I could do 6, let alone the industry-prescribed 12, daily posts on a topic-specific blog for more than a month. My attention span is best characterized by a renegade tank driver on the loose creating havoc in a residential neighborhood, steamrolling over cars and trees, making a mess of rock gardens, tearing through parked RVs like Michael Moore's hot hands through buttered popcorn, firing a bunch of rounds at the authorities and abruptly ending when fuel and ammo run out simultaneously. Then the guy is beat down, sedated, and hauled off to a correctional facility.

But I got feedback from enough people who said it was a "great idea" (it's fully possible they were humoring me) and since we already have the domain + logo, why not make it the Houston 620 of group blogging? We are looking for anyone who wants to be a charter editor of this next-generation blog. Imagine a masthead as long as Paris Hilton's Yahtzee scorecard and filled with names completely off Blogebrity's radar. (Let that one sink in a bit.) A commitment of one post, no word min. or max., per weekday is all we require but you can probably get away with doing less because we have an unlimited sick days policy. The strength of this blog will be its lack of consistent voice and we will NEVER accept advertising to prevent any and all accusations of editorial bias. (Well, name a price and I'm sure we'd reconsider.) Serious or disingenuous emails should be sent to info at [my last name] dot com. I am not being disingenuous, seriously.

Train Roll On

It was the second prom I'd ever been to and it was not unlike the first. I asked Katie DD to be my date two nights before, she enthusiastically said yes which was very polite of her, once there I put on her corsage and then we ditched each other after the first ten minutes. (Pictured here, the pregnant one.) The rest of the night was all swamp juice, keg beer, too much hip-hop (why? why?) and not enough music for clumsy white guys such as myself. Where was the Steve Miller?? That's some shit I can proudly wallflower to. At the very least the night should have ended with a "Tuesday's Gone With The Wind" slow-dance. Eventually got a ride home from Dennis at 6am where my roommate Becca was locked out and crying in the school playground across the street. Mainly because she felt she was born too late and should have been a high school senior in 1986.

Early photographic evidence of the damage: Jessica F, Janelle, Youngna, again, Jake, Becca, Dianne. I'm sure there'll be lots more but it all kinda looks the same after awhile.

I Was A Teenage Hiearchist

I don't know much about getting "vert" and the aquatic life, or what one has to do with the other, but I'm honored to be on any list that includes Mike Spinelli, Dave Navarro, and Claire Zulkey -- sterling representatives of our triangular United States of New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. While making the B-Team on Blogebrity swells my fingers with pride, I am most looking forward to the Blue Ribbin' treatment at Outback Steakhouse which I assume is just one of many rewards that accompany this credentialed status.

But the much-needed peer affirmation does not stop at Blogebrity. Even greater recognition is bestowed by Mark Graham of Whatevs.org in the form of Young Manhattanite's recent induction to "THE BOURGEOISIE" circle of his blogrolled links. It's enough to make a person crank up "Hazy Shade of Winter" and jump around the room, air guitar in hands. This exclusive list includes several people I have playfully sparred with or "worked" for (often the same), at least six who have been in my bedroom (not all at once), one I've lip-locked (not in the bedroom) and lots of others I've wanted to (one day, JP, one day), and two who spent the night passed out drunk on the couch in separate occasions.

Thank you Mark, I promise to blog my best as I attempt to stand toe-to-toe and cheek-to-cheek with these luminaries. And Elizabeth, I apologize for taking that literally the other night.

No Big Hair!

A Young Manhattanite gets cut. His first.

No Data Redneck Prom

Nevermind that this looks more like 80's Jersey metal...

Reference: No Data, How to Buy a Corsage or Boutonniere for the Prom

About A Young Manhattanite

"I'm the lonely wildebeest...
Proud yet frail
From my nose to my tail.
But here's the good news,
I've got wheels -- on my shoes!"

Asked by videographer [Glenn] Reynolds whether there's a business model for blogging, Dan Gillmore offered this poignant response: "There better be a business model, or it will be community theatre for the whole world." [BlogAds]

Just to be perfectly clear when it comes to blogging, my model is the Get a Life "Zoo Animals On Wheels" episode. I often like to pretend I'm drunk on stage in front of a room full of middle-aged suburban couples. Please read everything I write with that in mind.

# # #

Online Profile/Blogging Bio

Winter 2001-2002: Kept a journal on HiFiNY of my 3 month trip around South America. Was it blogging? Probably not.

Summer 2003: As an infrequent Lasagnafarm contributor, I finally caught the deadly blogging bug with Confessions of a Friendster Dropout when Gawker, and subsequently Philadelphia Weekly, dangerously validated its insanity. Also, this is where the shot heard 'round the Good World Bar that started the "feud" with Lockhart Steele was fired and the first official documentation of my Conde Nast obsession can be found. But hey, we almost won a Bloggie for this type of shit.

December 2003 to Present: With L'farm friend and former co-worker Chris Gage by my side (but far enough away to avoid accidental touching) I launched my own blog -- The Other Page -- which alternately lived under the domains Krucoff.com & TheOtherPage.com and covered the usual tenement-worn topics pertinent only to the small New York underclass of Lower East Side sloths and amateur media muckmouths. It ended when we tried to turn the blog into a print 'zine. "Retarded" was the description we beat into the ground like a 2 year old with a hammer and peg blocks. Gawker founding editor Elizabeth Spiers wrote about it in a book that probably exists solely in bargain bins today. Now the site is an MP3 blog.

February-October 2004: Daily Young Manhattanite Interview debuted on Gothamist. Shortly after posting the 100th interview we jumped through Q's and landed on our A's at Gawker, in a move that bonded me eternally with the evil blog empire, where it lasted all of two months before we bowed (and bottomed) out with strippers at the Hustler Club.

May 2004: I got a shaky start at "paid-blogging" with my first week-long guest editor stint on Gawker. I swear I was only trying to top Choire Sicha's advertiser-fleeing "Ryan Seacrest needs a good skull-fucking" post, but at least I found a fan in MemeFirst's Felix Salmon.

April-September 2004: Produced a weekly "Data Dump" feature on Gawker (as well as a few for Defamer and Wonkette), involving real-time stats and faux-pro graphs of New York/media bits, which if I'm to be honest is probably my favorite of all the stuff I've done online.

August 2004 to Present: Sporadic "Team Party Crash" and "Walking Tour" reports which I've done pro open bar.

December 2004: Gawker Guest Editor: The Sequel. I had more fun the second time around, even if most of the week's traffic was inflated by tsunami-related news.

January 2005: Guest-edited Gawker Media's sex blog, Fleshbot. Don't be fooled by the glossy travel brochures, porn is the toughest road to walk in blogging.

February 2005: With Nick Denton's blessing (or curse) I was the "launch-editor" for Gridskipper, which is a nice way of saying I crapped-out within 3 weeks.

April 2005: Because blogging is an incurable addiction, I launched Young Manhattanite without really knowing what to do with it.

June 2005: Because almost anything can be justified by an incurable addiction, I launched a crime blog called Blottered.

October 2005: That whole Conde Nast thing happened. Vanity Fair chimed in with a caricature.

November 2005: YM spin-off Young Israelite was branded as a means to make new friends on a trip to the Holy Land and guilt/trick family members into giving me money.

December 2005: Fresh back from Israel on Christmas Day and off to Maryland to spend the holidays with family, I was mysteriously called to be a last-minute Gawker replacement for December 29-30 because the regular editors went on "strike" until 2006.

February 2006: Did some "consulting" for Jane magazine's website. Ask me about their fashion closet.

April 2006: Organized Frank Portman's King Dork blog book tour and follow-up party at Gawker HQ.

May 2006: Miraculously got hired by the 92nd Street Y where I'm a full-time "web content developer" and contribute to the 92Y Blog.

Always: ...dreaming of Bloghaüs.

We All, Us Three, Will Ride

Look, other bloggers talking about...BLOGS!!

Deconstructing Blogebrity
Kid Dig It

If you need a refresher: I am Sac, Chris Gage, SomeBlogs, Gawkerist, Blogebrity, IT blog, and every troll commenter on the 10,201,635 weblogs watched by Technorati. (Links not provided.)

3.1415926535897 Minutes In Heaven

"Hey, that's MY PIE!" -Stan Gable

Q: How did the idea of pie-throwing originate in the history of remonstrations?
A: In my consciousness, pie-throwing was something that was done in the movies to bring someone down off of their high horse. The pie had universal visual meaning. With an understanding of the situationist's idea of disrupting the spectacle and using the disruption to point out the cracks in the official reality, the power of the pie was given whole new opportunities to cast light on shadowy figures. Tasteful entertainment at protest prices.

Q: The splashy approach seems to be a trifle too hard on the egos of your beneficiaries. Is pie-throwing as soft as it looks?
A: Pieing is not so much a personal attack, as it is an attack on authority, secrecy, corruption, and greed. If the ego of the person pied is bruised, that is not the intent. But shame can be a powerful motivator, and persuade people to change their behaviour. This, of course, is an unintended result, for the goal is to disrupt the spectacle and expose the lies official reality requires for its existence.




Despite how it looked, Kenny did not throw the pie - he "placed" it in Ellen's face, and by extending his arm & leg, gave the illusion of throwing. Remember, "splat, don't slam."

Pie Links: Clown Ministry, Pies In The Face, The Pie-rect Side, Gay Pie Parade

Michael (Row The Boat Ashore)

There is no shortage of blogs devoted solely to tracking the news and events of Gawker Media, with even more that drop in from time-to-time to offer some shoeshine punditry. It's impossible to keep up with them all when the analysis is usually viewed through Arabian goggles or a paper bag.

That's why I turn to Hermitude in NYC for the hard-hitting, bone marrow sucking commentary. She has laid into Nick more than once and obviously has a beef with Gridskipper. As someone who captained GSkip's maiden voyage before hitting a Dentonian-sized iceberg in the second week, I think I can explain the situation to her in a way she'll clearly understand and appreciate. If the rotating cast of guest-co-editors at Gawker is likened to a "gang bang" then what you're seeing over at GSkip can best be described by a limerick my Dad taught me right after the bee stung the bird:

There once was a hermit named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave,
He said "I admit,
She stinks like shit
But think of the money I save."

The Secret Policeman's Blog

Believe: everything you read here, nothing anywhere else, half of what you see, see a girl answer "Are you fucked-up?" by saying "half and half."

Where's the Transparency, Kenneth?

In a trend that initiated with the hiring of Lockhart Steele as managing editor, the shroud of secrecy is fastly fraying over at Gawker Media like an overused cum-towel. Just yesterday Radar Magazine upped the ante in what was once thought to be a friendly-feud when they revealed this week's Gawker co-guest-editor "K. Eric Walters" is actually Newsweek staffer Michael Hastings, also widely-known to be dating FishbowlNY's Rachel Sklar. Try to wrap your head around the implications of that one while the deafening roar you hear is Maer Roshan trying to flush a blog down a toilet.

But the lack of transparency does not stop there. Nick Denton and Lockhart Steele, captain and lieutenant of Gawker Media, are also paying Chris Gage to write an anonymous blog, Gawkerist, billed as "A Gawker Media Style Blog About Gawker Media Blog Style." Or so says a tipster that has written to Young Manhattanite. Your guesses at the motivation behind this are as good as mine but perhaps it's another attempt by Denton to control all aspects of his publicity. With such a potentially damaging accusation at hand I felt it was my duty to go through a rigorous fact-checking process. I did what any ethically-minded blogger would do. I wrote the tipster back and asked, "Are you sure about this?" When they responded within five minutes, I knew the damning one-word reply "Yes" could possibly change the New York Blogosphere, or at least a stretch of pot-holed road from Spring Street to Rivington, forever.

There has been much rumbling among the blog and mainstream media pundits over standards of journalism ethics. The New York Times wrote about it a couple Sundays ago and the First Queen of "Snarky" Blogging, Elizabeth Spiers, rebutted accusations of blogging's inherent unethical nature point-by-point in what will surely be remembered as the boldest strike back to so-called "authority" since a group of high school students signed their name to a piece of paper that began, "Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong."

I dare say that Ms Spiers would not defend the latest actions of Denton, Steele, and Gage. This is lying, this is deception, this is a giant dump on transparency where a bowlful of black beans have covered and obscured the monitor screen like sticky tar. Now who's gonna clean up all this mess? Will the wrong-doers admit their transgressions and beg forgiveness? Will the BlogHerald or Buzzmachine cry out and demand the heads of these ethically-challenged liars to be chopped off the blogging block? Only time will tell, but this blogporter would certainly hope so.

Condescending Jars of Blistex

Her: I really wish you working for Anna Wintour was true.
Him: I really wish you hadn't lied about being home-schooled.

Selling-out, bought the farm

I guess I didn't kill all my brain cells while celebrating Google's acquisition of Dodgeball with everyone Wednesday night. (Down to my undershirt? Randy and Dball founder Dens totally shirtless?? Jesus H. Dog balls, someone please send those guys home!) I managed to make one more comment on Buzzmachine today about the Spokane Mayor Sex Scandal and Leonard Witt who is guest-blogging on Jay Rosen's PressThink writes to tell me he added my "excellent comment" to his running commentary on the affair. (Unemployed and suffering a day-long hangover, I'll take any compliment I can get.) I got the urge after reading/agreeing with what Rosen and Steve Lovelady, managing editor of CJR Daily, had to say about the whole thing. Here it is again with a couple of my typos fixed and reference links.

Leonard Witt: Jeff Jarvis after looking at the plethora of ethics codes said maybe we should consolidate them all down to Don't lie. Don't sell out, and Andrew Krucoff in a comment at Jeff's site weighed in for individual codes, and I quote in full:

A local newspaper (or any for that matter) does not have to answer to your, my, an academic's, out of touch old school editor's, or any organization's code of ethics other than the ones they've determined and created for themselves that are in the best interests of serving the welfare of their readership. These are decisions for each newspaper to make and they wouldn't be around for very long if their code of ethics was that far out-of-whack with their constituents or illegal, obviously.

Of course, you don't have to dig deep into these institutional prescribed codes, like ASNE's, to find total justification for what the Spokane paper did: "The American press was made free not just to inform or just to serve as a forum for debate but also to bring an independent scrutiny to bear on the forces of power in the society, including the conduct of official power at all levels of government." Sounds about right to me.

Ultimately, a newspaper need only answer to its readers and in this case there is overwhelming support for the paper from Spokane citizens. That's not "bad journalism" that's just good public service journalism. They're damn lucky none of those big city editors or academics who are so short-sighted and arrogant to call this "bad for journalism" are the editor of their newspaper.

I think Jay Rosen said it best: "The case does not lend itself to "rules." What it requires instead is judgment, and that holds for we critics and observers, too."

Selling-out is betraying your values and going against what you know is right. Kudos to Steve Smith for not doing that while serving in the best interests of Spokane citizens.

And so this is Christmas in July

Holy shit. Google bought Dodgeball. My stomach and thumbs just cramped up. I can't discuss numbers but Dennis and I worked out an agreement where I accumulated points for every text message I sent on the service in the last year. Okay, I can share. I'm getting $10. Total. Congrats man, now buy us a fuckin' golden helicopter for trips to the Hamptons!!

If you want to hit Dennis up for go-go-internet-money drinks, we'll all be at 12" on Essex between Houston and Stanton from 9pm on. Hey, the ladies are DJing too. Let's pray the LES doesn't burn to the ground tonight.

Journalism's Arrest

I admit, I'm a man with an ethical compass that's permanently pointed due south, roughly in the direction of the Darlington Speedway. That doesn't stop me (or even disqualify me) from seriously questioning matters of ethics in regards to the institutions and people who are in positions that demand such guidelines. (At this current point in my life, I am jobless so the only official "positions" I have are son, brother, uncle, friend, tenant and if I could just stop stealing my roommate's ice cream then I'd be a model citizen worthy of a Kiwanis Club award.) I dove into the comments on Buzzmachine again, this time over the Spokane Spokesman-Review's sting operation that busted the town's mayor looking for sex with a minor on the Internet. I doubt anyone is gonna respond to me there but I ask you YM readers (Sac, Gage - this is our most desperate hour, help me Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope) to share your thoughts here.

An Imperfect 10

To maximize the benefits of your beer/dollar ratio, I suggest Loreley in NYC on Rivington near Bowery. German beer garden style with outdoor seating. And that my friends makes a hard-fought 10th post, my final of the day. Lock, the giant beers are on you next time. [Photo by Youngna]

Ho Data

Speaking of ladies and bars, the female groupies of New York's most talked-about new DJ outfit No Data are hitting the dex and putting the s-e-x in Essex at 12" Bar Wednesday night. Below is a copy of the fabled bar's calendar for the week sent to list subscribers. Don't miss out on the jello shots.

No jokes, no stories - no time! Let's get right to the meat of the matter, the core of the issue, the jelly of the donut, the belly of the beast - THIS WEEK'S SCHEDULE!!

This week:
WED: ESSEXY!!!
A Night of Gals Behind the Decks!
That's right, the ladies are taking over! 5 ladies to be exact - DJ Kitten Licks, DJ Miss Behave, DJ Strie, DJ Maureen and DJ Heavy B! This is gonna be one to remember! Hits the fan around 9ish

THUR: Hold on for "NY ThrAsH"!!!
DJ Looking Glass - goth, 80s, art, and punk!!
DJ McD - 80s college rock!! 9pm

FRI. Filet of Soul:
The amazing DJ Otha Brotha brings the bells, handclaps, and horns of 100% hate free 70s R&B, soul and funk! Grab a $2 shot of MD 20/20 and groove to Sly, James, Aretha and more! 10pm

SAT: The Touch Crew is back!!
Touch Clothing presents 3 DJs: Amadeus, Hale and Viclevek! The bpm's will be flying as they spin deep house, funky drum n bass, trip hop and more! 10pm

SUN: Join Paola for $6 pitchers!

HAPPY HOUR! Nice weather means the DOORS ARE NOW OPEN!!
$2 Rolling Rock, Bud/Bud Lt, PBR, Rheingold!
$2 Pints Yuengling Lager, Molson and 12" Pale Ale and $6 pitchers!
2 for 1 Mixed Drinks!
EVERY DAY til 9pm! Yes, an hour longer: 9pm!!!!!

Have a great week! Peace - 12 INCH BAR, 179 Essex St, (Houston & Stanton), NYC
212-505-6027

Ballad of a Ladyman

As a huge fan of the L Word (anyone else as shocked as I by Jenny's rather full top-shelf when she did that stripping?) I like to follow the developments of lesbian bars in NYC. After Meow Mix got booted from my backyard in the LES, the former owner has resurfaced with Cattyshack in Park Slope. Imagine that. I expect lots of Rodney Dangerfield inspired pick-up lines: "You're a lot of woman, you know that? Wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"
Meow Mix Owner Lands On Her Feet [Curbed]

The soil, the soil, the soil!

I was planning to take apart line-by-line Elizabeth Spiers' line-by-line taking-apartion of Adam Cohen's NYTimes article on journalism/blogger ethics but I've reconsidered since 1) she's a friend (even though I believe friends should constantly be participating in mutual toe-keeping maintenance 2) she once offered me part-time employment that I respectfully (okay, most disgracefully) declined 3) she wrote a story about me that's gonna be in a book.

Oh fuck it, why not, game on. If you're following along at home: Adam Cohen is in bold, Elizabeth is italicized, and I will remain format-agnostic.

The Latest Rumbling in the Blogosphere: Questions About Ethics
Is this really the latest rumbling in the blogosphere? Are bloggers up in arms about blogger ethics? Cohen argues (in the actual editorial) that they're not, and that it's a problem. Perhaps the essay would have been better titled, "The Latest Rumbling in the MSMosphere: Questions About Ethics... In the Blogosphere."
Yes Elizabeth, it's as much a rumble as the F train under my tenement building. If it's not mended in time then the whole thing could come crashing down. I have in fact tried to lead a discussion on blogging ethics after the recent Mobygate but no one seemed interested. One can safely assume that Cohen reads Young Manhattanite.

[Next part is about Arthur Schlesinger Jr. blogging and a plug for her own Garrett Graff of FishbowlDC and his White House press pass. I refuse to address tactless self-promotion.]

Bloggers are not only getting access; they have also been getting results. The Drudge Report, of course, is famous for pushing stories, often with a rightward spin, onto the national media agenda, but it is not alone. Daily Kos did a brilliant job last fall of pressuring Sinclair Broadcasting not to show a hatchet-job documentary about John Kerry. And Joshua Micah Marshall has been rattling Congress with his entertaining and influential listing of where individual members stand on Social Security privatization. Blogs helped to shape, in some cases in major ways, some of the biggest stories of the last year - the presidential election, tsunami relief, Dan Rather.
Minor quibbles here: Matt Drudge has publicly and repeatedly denied that Drudge Report is a blog. And by most standard definitions—i.e., commentary in the form of posts, reverse chronology, permalinks—it's probably not. And Josh Marshall is a blogger who also writes for mainstream media publications as a journalist. Journalist? Blogger? Animal, vegetable, mineral? Does Cohen have a litmus test for separating the two? But the core point, presumably, is that bloggers are actually affecting current events, which has proven to be true in some cases.
Cohen is actually promoting the accomplishments of blogs while Elizabeth seems pained to agree with him on any point and kicks a nasty "presumably" qualifier in his face.

The thing about influence is that, as bloggers well know, it is only a matter of time before people start trying to hold you accountable.
What makes Cohen think that this isn't already happening, and that it hasn't been happening since blogs first appeared on the Internet? No, blogs generally don't have paid fact-checkers and teams of lawyers to review copy. But the lack of formal institutional enforcement mechanisms doesn't mean that blogs have no accountability. Blogs depend on their credibility to maintain readership. A blog with no credibility is a blog with no readers. And tolerance for losing reader trust is much lower for blogs than it is for mainstream media outlets. I was appalled by the Jayson Blair scandal, but as is obvious, I haven't stopped reading the Times. If a well-read and trusted blogger pulled the same stunt and got caught, it would be the end of the associated blog. The readers have no tolerance for it.
Besides the obvious realization that 95% of blogs just regurgitate mainstream (or any) news stories with their own spin making this whole discussion practically irrevelant, I would like you to give examples of when reader intolerance has brought down well-read and trusted bloggers due to their appalling lack of credibility. Has this kind of reader revolt ever happened? If a blogger pulled a Jayson Blair I'm pretty sure his/her traffic and audience would blow up (not down), not to mention securing a place in line after Dana Vachon for a book deal. If you're so quick to demand Cohen give cases of the "many" (as you do below) then you have to name names here.

Bloggers are so used to thinking of themselves as outsiders, and watchdogs of the LSM (that's Lame Stream Media), that many have given little thought to what ethical rules should apply in their online world.
Who are these "many" who have "given little thought"? Is that a Lame Stream Overgeneralization or just Lame Stream Solipsism?
First, what do you call the people who attacked Dan Rather and Eason Jordan if not outsider watchdogs? (Yeah yeah Jarvis, they're "citizen journalists.") Second, read my last sentence above.

Some insist that they do not need journalistic ethics because they are not journalists, but rather activists, or humorists, or something else entirely.
Many people who publish in mainstream media as activists, humorists or something else entirely insist exactly the same thing.
Poo on both of you. Why can't people who don't claim to be journalists be left in opie-edie mumbo-jumbo peace? If they're not "journalists" - mainstream, citizen, or otherwise - then don't go fishing for facts or the truth in that ice hole. (Man, my first "fish" reference but I was hoping to use Phishbowl. That's unlikely.)

But more bloggers, and blog readers, are starting to ask whether at least the most prominent blogs with the highest traffic shouldn't hold themselves to the same high standards to which they hold other media.
Again, Cohen neglects to name names. Who are these high-traffic bloggers who fail so miserably to meet journalistic standards?
Shit Cohen, you're losing me here. Stay on message!! "Bloggers are not journalists!"

Every mainstream news organization has its own sets of ethics rules, but all of them agree broadly on what constitutes ethical journalism.
If that were true, Poynter could dismantle most of its website and Jim Romenesko probably wouldn't get paid to blog. If everyone agrees broadly, why are junkets (which are almost never disclosed in mainstream media publications) okay for some MSM outlets and absolutely unacceptable for others?
What part of "broadly" don't you understand, Elizabeth? The man just said each organization has their own set of ethics rules with broader agreements industry-wide. Do you get to define "broadly" and specifically include junkets in it? Calm yourself. Take a trip to the Jersey Shore, expense it.

Information should be verified before it is printed, and people who are involved in a story should be given a chance to air their viewpoints, especially if they are under attack.
[Elizabeths sharpens her teeth on a stone grinder and attempts a relentless barrage of bites without stopping to swallow. I'll try to condense her remarks.]
All of the high-traffic bloggers I know, including several mentioned by Cohen—Josh Marshall, Ana Cox, etc.—attempt to verify information before reporting.
Is that so? Give examples please. I seem to remember hearing Ana talk at SXSW in March where she defiantly claimed she doesn't do any reporting/fact-checking but only commentary. She was adamant about this ridiculous discussion of "blogging vs. journalism" that what she does on Wonkette is all the former and none of the latter. Also, it's funny how the people mentioned here are/were legitimate pre-blogging journalists. If you are so insistent that they adhere to ethics as bloggers then maybe they picked up some good habits from their mainstream media stints? Nah, you're right, that couldn't be the case. [Elizabeth then tries to demonstrate her next point by referencing Maureen Dowd. Automatic DQ.]
When bloggers make mistakes, they correct them—faster and in a much more direct fashion than most mainstream media outlets...blah blah...Jason Calacanis...blah blah...Is anyone really going to take the time to find out to which piece a correction pertaining to "an article in the Education Life section" is referring? Doubtful.
Shame on you Elizabeth for mocking the Education Life section as if it's considerably less important than every other crap part of the paper. Readers will no more see a strike-through blog correction after the fact than a buried newspaper correction. Wrong info gets spread just the same in both outlets if the original source of it lights a strong enough fire. Besides, what would some blogs have to write about if they weren't digging deep into the correction page .

Reporters should avoid conflicts of interest, even significant appearances of conflicts, and disclose any significant ones. Often, a conflict means being disqualified to cover a story or a subject. When errors are discovered or pointed out by internal or external sources, they must be corrected. And there should be a clear wall between editorial content and advertising.
In my experience, bloggers are much more vigilant about this than mainstream media. I've never heard a blogger express concern about how editorial product was going to affect advertising revenues. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about mainstream media. And again, Cohen lacks examples. If this is actually a widespread problem, surely those examples exist.
"In your experience"? So a couple of blogging years and one in the mainstream media (does that count as seven blog years?) under your belt makes you confident to declare blogger vigilance is greater than the MSM on this issue? Hold on, what's the phrase I'm looking for....oh right: Please give examples.

Bloggers often invoke these journalistic standards in criticizing the MSM, and insist on harsh punishment when they are violated. [Insert Dan Rather, Bush's National Guard Service, Eason Jordan, etc.]
More Lame Stream Overgeneralizing. Cohen noticeably fails to mention the not-insignificant-and-possibly-even-larger blogger constituencies who thought it was ridiculous that Jordan resigned and the Rather bloggers who really just wanted a correction.
Adam should thank you Elizabeth for making his point for him. The fact that a smaller group of bloggers than those of the majority opinion was able to drown out the others is precisely the problem. What happened to blogging's democratizing effect here?

But Mr. Rather's and Mr. Jordan's misdeeds would most likely not have landed them in trouble in the world of bloggers, where few rules apply. Many bloggers make little effort to check their information, and think nothing of posting a personal attack without calling the target first - or calling the target at all. They rarely have procedures for running a correction.
Cohen made these points earlier in his columns, and I've already addressed them. Alas, annoying expository redundancy is, it seems, as much a feature of mainstream media as it is the blogosphere.
Then there's no need for me to explain again why he's right and you're wrong.

The wall between their editorial content and advertising is often nonexistent. (Wonkette, a witty and well-read Washington blog, posts a weekly shout-out inside its editorial text to its advertisers, including partisan ones like Democrats.org.)
That Wonkette writes a thank-you post to advertisers does not mean the wall between editorial content and advertising is non-existent. In fact, the Times business section reported yesterday that advertising does not influence editorial content at Gawker—unless I suppose, there's some concern that readers would mistake a post clearly labeled "Shout out to our advertisers" for reportage. (This "fact checking" of which Cohen speaks…does the New York Times have it? Maybe he should have called the Business section for comment.)
I refer to Jason Calacanis who once said he just barely tolerates Gawker Media's practice of editorializing advertiser "shout-outs" in blog posts. Do these posts count as part of the famed daily quota of 12? I have no idea but if so then they are getting paid to blog about advertisers and you lose this argument. In fact, if that's really the case, let's just close up shop entirely because the system would be too corrupt to fix.

And bloggers rarely disclose whether they are receiving money from the people or causes they write about.
My inner conspiracy theorist thinks that it's perfectly rational to worry that some blogs are pushing products they're paid to promote, and my inner cynic says that everyone has a price. But are these highly trafficked blogs that worry Cohen likely to risk credibility and their readership to do that? Paid "fake" blogging is a recurring theme when I talk to public relations professionals, and the dominant line of questioning is, "Is it happening?" and then, usually in a lower voice, "How can I do it?" My answers are, "not that I know of," and "you can't—or not for very long, anyway." Cohen fails to entertain the possibility that he's not seeing these disclosures because bloggers are not receiving money from the people or causes that they write about.
Yet you can't prove otherwise and if there's a cheap buck to be made you can bet your second-hand boa-constrictor that blogs are being infiltrated.

A few bloggers have begun calling for change. There have even been fledgling attempts to create ethical guidelines, like the ones found at Cyberjournalist.net. Defenders of the status quo argue that ethics rules are not necessary in the blogosphere because truth emerges through "collaboration," and that bias and conflicts of interest are rooted out by "transparency." But "collaboration" is a haphazard way of defending against dishonesty and slander, and blogs are actually not all that transparent. MSM journalists write under their own names. Someone would be likely to notice if a newspaper reporter covering a campaign was also on the campaign's staff. But it is hard to know who many bloggers are, and whether they are paid to take the positions they are espousing.
I defy Adam Cohen to name one high-traffic blogger who doesn't write under his or her own name. To review the list of people he namechecked: Arianna Huffington, Garrett Graff, Matt Drudge, Josh Marshall, Ana Cox, Markos Moulitsas Zuniga. I'm fairly certain that none of those are pseudonyms. And the perpetually iterative paid blogger question has already been addressed.
Garrett Graff? I hate to get all "foreign correspondent" on you but that can't possibly be his real name. None of the others sound plausible either, except for Matt Drudge. But you already said he wasn't a blogger, right?

Richard Hofstadter noted in "The Age of Reform" that American reformers had been prone to an "enormous amount of self-accusation." Throughout history, reform movements have ostentatiously held themselves to higher standards than the institutions they attacked....Tammany Hall reformers...Members of the Woman's Christian Temperance Union, etc. Many bloggers who criticize the MSM's ethics, however, are in the anomalous position of holding themselves to lower standards, or no standards at all. That may well change. Ana Marie Cox, who edits Wonkette, notes that blogs are still "a very young medium," and that "things have yet to be worked out." Before long, leading blogs could have ethics guidelines and prominently posted corrections policies.
A lack of formalized standards does not automatically translate to "lower standards" or "no standards." It doesn't mean that blogs have no ethics and no correction policies, either. But most blogs are the voice and work of individuals, and those individuals are no more likely to develop formal written guidelines and policies than any individual reporter is likely to do for him or herself.
Elizabeth forgets that the owners of the two biggest professional blog networks wanted to start an ethics committee to address these very issues. They were met with a blank stare. And a gassy burp. Cohen smartly realizes that the bloggers will eventually have no choice if they want to play journalism with the big boys.

Bloggers may need to institutionalize ethics policies to avoid charges of hypocrisy. But the real reason for an ethical upgrade is that it is the right way to do journalism, online or offline. As blogs grow in readers and influence, bloggers should realize that if they want to reform the American media, that is going to have to include reforming themselves.
Cohen's entire essay is based on the premise that bloggers inherently do journalism the wrong way. What he refuses to acknowledge is the blogosphere is organic and fiercely Darwinian. The liars, the cheats, those who would prostitute themselves for a high-CPM BlogAd—they don't stand a chance. One slip-up and their readership is gone, never to return.
Hello (2x), I ask you to state when this has happened as I did before. Then again, my whole premise is that 95% of bloggers are not practicing journalism on their blogs which makes all of this moot. Yeah, I could have just stated that in one sentence instead of this shit mountain no one will ever read. (Gage, I am sure you are the only one who got this far. It was a bit much, right?)

First We Take Manhattan Beach

If I'm gonna make it to ten posts today then I have to treat marketing emails in my inbox as "reader tips." Here's a juicy one I personally received from Robertson Barrett, General Manager of Los Angeles Times Interactive and Jeffrey M. Johnson, Executive Vice President and General Manager of Los Angeles Times this morning. Prepare yourself for some cheek-clenching media observations.

Dear Registered User,

The Los Angeles Times today launched the first stage of a year-long initiative to improve and expand the newspaper’s Internet offerings, with a special emphasis on utility for Southern Californians...

There's a bunch of other stuff about re-vamping the calendarlive.com feature but I prefer to get my SoCa ToDo's from Defamer and various unmoderated message boards. They also promise a wider, cleaner home page that includes "Pacific Time" which sounds cute if only I knew what that meant. I'm guessing it's an L.A.-insider joke and since I fancy myself a "Young Manhattanite" I plead ignorance to such cryptic surfer lingo. I will continue to monitor these developments of the West Coast's first steps into publishing media online. If we can facilitate democracy for Iraqis, I'm confident we can do the same with the Internet for Southern Californians.
The Paper Of Recording Contracts [LATimes.com]

Big Bucks Hunter

YM/krucoff.com gets reader email on the average of once every six months and it's usually a request for the Flipper "Sex Bomb" mp3 I had to take down 'cause that hog was crowding my mudwidth. So when I get something that says "this might be of interest to your readers" (Gage, Sac - you got both eyes open?) I feel an obligation to share it and offer my insight. Nevermind this has already been linked around, Tristan Louis conducts an interesting analysis of blogger vs. journalist bucks using the recent Sunday NYTimes article about Gawker Media to build a model.

It's an admirable effort but the methodology is inherently flawed since it's based on comparing word count to estimate pay per word for bloggers and journalists. It's crab-apples and orange-smoothies. (Actually, I propose a permanent replacement of the old a's & o's phrase with "it's like comparing bloggers and journalists.") These blogs average 150 words/post, not 180 as Tristan notes, because his list includes irregular posts written by contributors. For example, those stories marked with word counts of 703 and 828 are the Team Party Crash or Look Book features that the editor only writes a quick introduction before the editorial "jump" of faith.

That's really a minor point but the major problem is equating the value of blogger word with journalist word. The latter is worth more than the former, if not in your mind then at least in the marketplace. Writing twelve 150-word blog posts is a helluva lot easier than submitting an 1,800-word piece to your magazine or newspaper editor. These blog posts are quick hits that are the result of producing witty commentary about stories reported elsewhere. The time and effort invested in an original (though not necessarily imaginative) 1,800-word article that involves actual reporting, tracking people down, interviewing, and fact-checking is not in the same earthly time zone as 12 blog posts that rely on coke and dick jokes. (Sorry, I know there's more to them than that but those are usually my favorite ones.) The gadget blogs are an exception, the work they do is essentially no different than their "journalist" counterparts.

I applaud Tristan's analysis on imagination and effort alone; it will at least spark some conversation but I don't think it's a reliable measure. Of course I have no doubt Denton still grossly underpays his bloggers based on the revenue he's bringing in, even though his bloggers uniquely provide a product that's far superior to the mainstream media in terms of pure entertainment. By contrast, this very post I'm coming to the end of is worth 1/200th of a Cheerios coupon.
Gawker Bucks vs Journalists Bucks [TNL.net]

Gentle Bottom Love

Bloggers of the world, sing loud in celebration! Salvation has arrived for those fat asses you sit on all day typing away about cat vomit and why Karl Rove is a dickhead. If you have not optimized your workstation ergonomics (which I have done by installing a hammock and bug-zapper) then help has arrived in the mendable form of a butt-cushion called the Bottom Reformulator. DailyCandy has "no idea" if it works but they recommend it anyway sight-unseen on the word of the manufacturer. Has it really come to this? Giving a stamp of approval without even a reader testimonial? Perhaps they got "vigorously tested" confused with unrelenting ass-pounding.
Bringing Up the Rear [DailyCandy]

Very Early Retirement

This is the dream: retire at 28. You don't even have to be a millionaire, though I'm sure it would help. You can pack it all in, move to Florida like former head writer of the Letterman show Rodney Rothman, and spend your days lazily fishing for gefilte in a punchline-ready retirement community. But what if you get bored, is there life after retirement? You betcha. "He has turned his account of life there into a book called "Early Bird" (Simon & Schuster) and a television pilot under development with NBC Universal" reports NYT's Warren St. John who is no stranger to turning an account of life in southern parts of the country into a book. Hmm, didn't Seinfeld's Kramer already do this schtick? No mention in the article if Rodney ran for condo board president.
My Fake Retirement [NYTimes]

Circle Jerks - Group Sex

I'll try to contain my excitement for the Huffington Post to a dull whore today but I think this group blog idea is really gonna catch on. In our super-sized society we even want our media consumption with a tank of Coke and more beef patties than a turd field. Why settle for a blog that can only deliver 10 posts a day when you can get 20? AT NO EXTRA COST! Big savings for the consumer. Pete Rojas of the premier tech-blog Engadget set the standard by churning out 30 posts a day, with the help of others I assume. Thus, the group-blog concept was legitimized and monetized. Hell, even look at trend-making Gawker these days, it's being helmed by no less than 3 people at a time this week. But I hope they don't stop there. Give us more and give it to us harder.
Related: New Site Alert - Gawkerist
Circle Jerks "Group Sex" [AllMusic]