FYMTQ: Molly Lambert of This Recording

We're still on the This Recording kick (GO READ IT NOW - IT WILL REQUIRE THINKING) and we're fortunate that managing editor Molly Lambert (and here) responded to a request to revive the FYMTQ. Put on your autumn sweater and listen to the sound of ten hearts beating as one...

What's your background? (Please include an explanation of This Recording.)
I first met Alex Carnevale when I saw him give an inflammatory political lecture in Portland, after which he convinced me to leave my dentist husband and run off to Greenwich Village to become a radical. My first published piece of writing was a review of the Armory Show. Carnevale and I had a tempestuous on and off open relationship over the next five years until I dumped him for Eugene O'Neill. Alex went to Russia to cover the revolution and when he came home we got back together. He then insisted on returning to Moscow to finish his book "Ten Posts That Shook The World" and was killed, becoming the only American ever buried in the Kremlin. In memoriam, I founded This Recording and made Alex editor in chief.

Why are you following us?
I don't know where I am

What era, day or event in blogging history would you like to re-live?
when Walt Whitman liveblogged Abraham Lincoln's funeral

Who do you consider to be the greatest blogger of all-time?
Benjamin Franklin

What's your blogging motto?
"whatever, just post it"

Describe that low moment when you thought you just might have to leave
blogging for good.
when I failed to make Danish Aziz's list of the top bloggers he'd like to see in a burqa

What was the last thing you read on LAist?
I keep up with all of Carrie Meathrell's posts

If you could change one thing about blogging, what would it be?
Fuck you, pay me

What was your best or most expensive medication experience just after midnight on a summer Saturday?
I don't understand this question, but that might be because I'm in LA where we get medicinal weed and I'm smoking something called Purple Monkey Clown Car Chernobyl

Los Angeles. It's not New York. What gives?
good avocados are a hallucinogen

Multiple Choice: Diablo Cody, Jayne Mansfield, Gilda Radner, Nude Natalie Portman, Miranda July or Dead Whitney Houston? Name one reason why.
Gilda, because I like to talk dirty to the animals too

FYMTQ: Laura P. Soflux

I don't know what the hell has happened to the FYMTQ but someone please light a match. FAST. It appears we've lost focus in only the second week. First we featured a dude (Dana's been gnawing on that bone all week) and now we find a Tumblr named Laura who's over 30 and married. (Married? Yes, married! Sheesh.) Please try to suppress the overwhelming urge to close this window immediately. Let's assume there are extenuating circumstances. This much we know: she wants to quit her job, she's begging YM for a backstage pass to the boom boom room and even though she's got the Minnesota thing going for her, Rex Sorgatz is not on her radar. That's good enough for us.

Following Young Manhattanite Tumblr Questionnaire

What's your background?
I'm a ridiculously sweet girl from Minnesota with a wicked sense of humor. Okay, I'm not really all that sweet but that's what people think of us flyover state types. Anyway, I went to Minnetonka High School and grew up on the lake of the same name. And while most bloggers were born the year this movie came out (Purple Rain), I have frequently bathed in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. Yes, like every good Minnesotan...I love Prince even through the creepy symbol years. Anyway, I hated high school and couldn't wait to get the fuck out of Dodge...which led to scenic Oxford, Ohio (the furthest place my parents would let me go). I then went to law school and discovered I hate lawyers. Which led to my twenties where I lived in seven cities in six years. I will soon be 33 and I still have no idea what the fuck I want to do with my life. So, I blog. I like long walks on the beach and writing with parentheticals.

Why are you following us?
It started with Berhle and his Kats. Then like a good contrarian, refused to leave when you all were trying to get rid of your followers. Then I realized that you guys are pretty funny.

What era, day or event in blogging history would you like to re-live?
Well, I fondly remember that one time...ummm...yeah...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? BLOGGING HISTORY???

Who do you consider to be the greatest blogger of all-time?
First - the greatest blogger of all-time should be in all caps. Its really the only way to truly capture the absurdity of that notion. That said, there are some really great writers and fucking funny people in this world. Those are the bloggers I respect rather than the overthinkers and oversharers. I, of course, fall into the latter camp which fits squarely into my whole self-loathing emo blogging m.o.

What's your blogging motto?
Censor. Censor. Censor. It's sad just how much I don't share.

Describe that low moment when you thought you just might have to leave blogging for good.
I still can't believe that girl posted that money shot. It makes me sad. Which made me realize how badly feminism/equality has missed the mark. Which made me feel old. The I got pissed at myself for caring cause this angry contrarian makes a point of not caring about such things.

So, yeah, that and all the Sex And The City blogging.

What was the last thing you read on Gothamist?
Honestly, I don't have an answer for you on this one. Is that bad?

If you could change one thing about blogging, what would it be?
All the bloody posturing. Just like I'm doing right now.

What was your best or most expensive medication experience just after midnight on a summer Saturday?
Well, it didn't happen in the summer and happened on a Friday but once I experimented with a certain pharmaceutical while visiting a friend in Chicago. I completely lost my shit and spent a couple hundred bucks on a one-way ticket so I could get back to New York City. All my other medicinal experiences happened when I was in college where I did so much damage to my brain cells I honestly cannot remember much about them beyond the fact that I still can't listen to techno without losing my mind.

Would you consider dating one of us, only for 24 hours, if it meant the opportunity to meet the lowest branches of New York's reblogosphere?
Well, I made the mistake of telling you guys that I'm married which apparently made me as attractive as an STD. Yes, it's true. I'm off the market but sleep easy boys...my marriage certificate listed my pre-marriage status as "spinster." Who wants to date an old married spinster anyway?

FYMTQ: Matthew R. Smith

I'm pleased to be starting off the week with our latest FYMTQ profile, Matthew R. Smith. I decided we needed some gender parity up in this piece (and, frankly, he was game), so he's our very first XY. We love him because he was kind enough to get us into Creativity Now, and when he's not getting us sauced on free champers, he's writing L.E.S. Francophile, which we enjoy almost as much as free booze. (Almost.)


Following Young Manhattanite Tumblr Questionnaire

What's your background?
As I'm writing this, my background is my day job: a PR office. Otherwise: Long Island-raised; Fordham grad; French major; French wine publicist. Latecomer to public blogging at the ripe old age of 23 (I did, sadly, have a Livejournal way back when.)

Why are you following us?
Honestly? Because back when I used to read Gawker (when it was palatable), I didn't know who this mysterious Krucoff was and I forced myself to learn!

What era, day or event in blogging history would you like to re-live?
[Travel back in time to] intervene in Perez Hilton's nascent stage and dissuade him from celeblogging. The sad state of our nation and press is only exacerbated by the culture of celebrity obsession and the paparazzi.

Who do you consider to be the greatest blogger of all-time?
You know what? I've often thought that Voltaire (see: Le Dictionnaire Philosophique) would have made a good blogger. His 1-2 page stories, political reactions, and analyses of broad themes would translate so well into contemporary blogging society.

Uh, or Alex Balk's cock?

What's your blogging motto?
Le blog, c'est moi.

Describe that low moment when you thought you just might have to leave blogging for good.
Actually, it's a pretty sad story: an estranged friend of mine texted me with a quote from a protected blog I had written about him (suffice it to say I feared for his health) and I realized that my old blogging platform had not respected my privacy the way I had hoped.

Your mom sounds like an awesome lady. Tell us another good story about her. But don't send her a link to YM please.
Here's a good one: I grew up on Long Island, which my folks always encouraged me to explore. (We often visited museums, nature sanctuaries, forgotten beaches, etc.) One birthday, my mother and aunt brought me and my cousins to the Holocaust Museum on the North Shore, ostensibly to visit the museum and then ramble around the pretty rural beachfront grounds. My mother, however, got lost on the way and, unawares, turned into a different Gold Coast mansion, Winfield Hall (the F.W. Woolworth estate, evidently). After wandering the dilapidated grounds for ... oh, 2 hours or so, we were confronted by a man with a shotgun and a mastiff (which at 3' was nearly as tall as my skinny 13 year old ass) who chased us off the grounds. Literally, he chased us to our car, and pointed the gun at us until we left the property. And then we went home and had cake and I got a Razor scooter.

If you could change one thing about blogging, what would it be?
Every blogger would be as gorgeous as Emily Gould and me.

What is your favorite summer cocktail? [This is asked on behalf of Dana, not Krucoff, who drinks only Budweiser longnecks, should you ever run into him.]
Lillet on the rocks with a slice of orange. Chilled, crisp, citrusy, and bien sûr, French.

Would you consider dating one of us, only for 24 hours, if it meant the opportunity to meet the lowest branches of New York's reblogosphere?
I think I would go with Dana. And I'd totes date her for as long as she'd have me. I treated my high school girlfriend very well. We went shopping together, I drove her around in a Beemer (shhh, it was 15 years old), and sang musical songs at the top of our voices. As long as we can maintain that kinda relationship, Dana, I think we're fine. [I would absolutely go out on a date with Matthew. We could read Fleurs du Mal to one another and talk about CRAV and drink Lillet, of course. -Dana]

FYMTQ: Sara Zucker

Meet Tumblr Sara Zucker. It only takes two beers to get her wasted, like many of her generation she's afraid of capitalization and when I sincerely complimented a photo of her wearing a black beret by saying it made her look Orthodox, she replied, "christ, way to make a girl feel suicidal."

Following Young Manhattanite Tumblr Questionnaire

What's your background?
jewish american princess from long island rebelling against the confines of "the man" by wearing ripped jeans and studying to become a museum archivist/librarian.

Why are you following us?
ever since rosie o'donnell stopped posting those videoblogs of hers, i've been looking for a quick fix of internet entertainment. don't worry, i'll unfollow you in a few days.

What era, day or event in blogging history would you like to re-live?
when i went out with a guy from jdate who turned out not to have been jewish. wait, you said "re-live"? weird, i thought you meant "kill yourself".

Who do you consider to be the greatest blogger of all-time?
mo rocca; if i had pockets sewn into the skirt i am currently wearing, i would put him in one of them.

What's your blogging motto?
i'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Describe that low moment when you thought you just might have to leave blogging for good.
i haven't had such a moment yet, but i suppose now that i've admitted it, i'll have mine tomorrow.

What was the last thing you read on Gothamist?
how to dress like brooklyn, because i love when the new york times generalizes hipster culture; they're usually correct on all accounts.

If you could change one thing about blogging, what would it be?
the constant need for acceptance, although it is something that i myself may not be able to squelch. i love to be loved, don't you, julia allison?

What was your best or most expensive medication experience just after midnight on a summer Saturday?
calamine lotion to nurse my poison ivy outbreak after a bonfire at camp eisner in eighth grade. i'm sorry, that's not a very exciting story.

Would you consider dating one of us, only for 24 hours, if it meant the opportunity to meet the lowest branches of New York's reblogosphere?
sure, why not? i always have a craving for steak and fake conversation.

FYMTQ: Caroline McCarthy

Day 2 of the FYMTQ and we're going waaaaaay back to one of our earliest followers, Caroline McCarthy. She writes something for CNET called The Social, can usually be found wherever John Carney is drinking cocktails and is taller than you'd expect.

The Following Young Manhattanite Tumblr Questionnaire

What's your background?
I crawled to Manhattan in June 2006 after four years at Princeton University, which taught me how to differentiate between Bermuda red and Nantucket red, how to write 8-10 pages in double-spaced Times New Roman at 3AM about dueling theories on mass extinction, and the evils of Smirnoff Ice. No, really, it was a cool place and I learned a lot, I swear.

Why are you following us?
I really can't recall. But I know I kept following YM due to your scathing, hilarious commentary on the whole Emily Gould thing. Which I am heretofore referring to as "LookAtMe-gate."

What era, day or event in blogging history would you like to re-live?
Have there honestly been any that were truly that earth-shattering? Maybe I'd travel back to some momentous day in entertainment blogging history and stop Perez Hilton before he had a chance to become a global cultural phenomenon and launch a Hot Topic clothing line.

Who do you consider to be the greatest blogger of all-time?
Marcus Tullius Cicero.

What's your blogging motto?
In vino veritas. Just kidding, I really don't have one.

Describe that low moment when you thought you just might have to leave blogging for good.
Once I was live-blogging a conference panel where I (and the rest of the audience, I might add) thought that a NASA exec had just announced a contest that would send artists into space. Actually, they were going to get their artwork sent into space. Unfortunately, I'd already hit the publish button. OMG TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT.

What was the last thing you read on Gothamist?
That whole thing about the East Village condo where a party full of wild young hedgies and privileged yupsters got totally out of hand. Or was that Curbed? Everything looks the same in Google Reader when I haven't had enough coffee.

If you could change one thing about blogging, what would it be?
I'd create a magic pixie dust that could make obnoxious commenters disappear, like POOF. Except the ones who are obnoxious-but-still-funny, I'll keep those. I'd get rid of the cranky ones with nothing better to do but rat on bloggers.

What was your best or most expensive medication experience just after midnight on a summer Saturday?
Typically at that hour, if I'm self-medicating, I'm self-medicating with pizza or mozzarella sticks.

Would you consider dating one of us, only for 24 hours, if it meant the opportunity to meet the lowest branches of New York's reblogosphere?
Would you take me to that badass new steakhouse in Chelsea? If so, we'll talk.

Ed. Note: I just want to make it perfectly clear that I'm mocking myself with this semi-retarded, kinda pathetic, ultimately hopeless and regurgitated Q&A feature.

FYMTQ: Jessica Gold Haralson

Hello Jessica Gold Haralson, congratulations on being the latest Tumblr follower of Young Manhattanite! We hope you enjoy your stay but don't get too cozy. We have a custom of alienating our followers (because we're immature and idiotic like that) but starting with you we're gonna offer a chance to get to know "the real you."

The Following Young Manhattanite Tumblr Questionnaire

What's your background?
Brooklyn via northern Mexico, er, Texas. I was raised on tacos and frequent beatings in South Padre Island, TX, the white-trash Spring Break capital of the world. Then I went to Penn. Now I'm pissing off my Bill O'Reilly loving dad by living in "Yankeeville."

Why are you following us?
Why not?

What era, day or event in blogging history would you like to re-live?
This isn't blogging per se, but I miss the charming naivete of corn-fed Alabamans navigating AOL chat forums. On second thought, maybe I don't.

Who do you consider to be the greatest blogger of all-time?
Your mom.

What's your blogging motto?
Your face.

Describe that low moment when you thought you just might have to leave blogging for good.
When your mom's face said I had to stop blogging about our time together or she would leave me.

What was the last thing you read on Gothamist?
A Rachel Kramer Bussel interview from a million yearz ago.

If you could change one thing about blogging, what would it be?
Everyone would stop taking Twitter seriously.

What was your best or most expensive medication experience just after midnight on a summer Saturday?
I was anesthetized before getting a spinal tap a few Junes ago. Does that count? It was pretty expensive.

Would you consider dating one of us, only for 24 hours, if it meant the opportunity to meet the lowest branches of New York's reblogosphere?
Maybe, but only if your mom's face doesn't know.

Despite having started a college sex mag at Penn, Jessica Gold Haralson is NOT the next Julia Allison or Emily Gould.