State of the Internet, Part 4: Resolve, Questionable Or Otherwise, Revisited.

Sometime in December, I decided I was going to put together a three-part series on the Way Things Are Now versus The Way They Were and The Way We Want Them To Maybe Be. Things were really fucking bad in December, and they continued to get worse for a while, and it was a long, long goddamn winter for many of us. For example: Did you know that I almost quit media/New York/writing and was this close to moving back to Asheville in February? You do, now! Others, though: not so much! Anyway, the project fell by the wayside and/or victim to the KB, like so many of the other things we tend to do around here. When the B-Side boxed set comes out, god. damn.

But here we are! In the spirit of the left-side revival, I've dug deep and re-animated this fucker, this beast, this three-part series, one part of which was written in the back seat of a car in a trip from Miami to Tampa that involved Taco Bell and a fear that I would never sleep again.

Before going home for the holidays, I contacted a nice sample of media people who had seen some degree of success (or tragedy) over the course of the last year. These are the ones who got back to me with their New Years resolutions. I would provide context for them, but they're all invited to please pitch in on the comments, and let us know (in their own words) how they're doing. And if they won't, I'm sure someone will. L'chayim!

Keith Gessen, Author of "All The Sad Young Literary Men": I've given this a lot of thought and in truth my plans for the coming year for the Tumblr and my ongoing war with the internet are complicated and contradictory. Mostly they involve staying away from it and that as much as possible. On the other hand, I put some porn up the other day--and, I have to say, that was fun. I'm not promising anything. But--keithgessen.tumblr.com. Happy New Year.

Rex Sorgatz, Spencer Morgan profilee: I resolve to never again find myself in a circular, incestuous, flaming, anonymous, insidery, hate-bating, clusterfucking, lulzing, tumbletarding "online debate" held on some stupid blog's comment thread. FUCK. YOU.

Caroline McCarthy, cNet reporter, "The Social": A few months ago I realized I walk around with my fists clenched. I don't see how this could possibly be a good thing. My New Year's resolution is to stop walking around with my fists clenched. I know it sounds lame but it's a big deal for me, really.

Jeff Rosenthal of The Real: This past year, I spent too much time trying to be like Julia Allison. No, I didn't drink BluePrint cleanses; I didn't pretend to enjoy Mary Rambin's company; but I, like Julia, didn't get paid for my internet venture. So, next year, I hope that changes. [Or: "2008 was, for me, all about being a Microcelebrity. Next year, I hope to be Internet Famous."]

Will Leitch, columnist at New York Magazine: In 2008, I went to two foreign countries (bringing my lifelong total to "four"), switched jobs, spent a month-and-a-half driving across the country, parried threats of bodily harm by a future NFL Hall of Famer, was called a racist on National Public Radio, and made lifelong enemies with a legendary rapper, a diminutive sportscaster, a Pulitzer Prize winner and a billionaire. What do I want from 2009? I want to sleep.

Alex Blagg, lead editor at Wonderwall: I just hope that in 2009, someone comes up with yet even more new ways for me to pointlessly consume and disseminate information on the Internet. There's still a solid 20 - 30% of my day that I spend "unplugged", totally unsure of what to do with myself, terrified I might be missing something somebody said about someone. Please, half-baked young social networking start-up people who favor fashion accessories and the arbitrary omission of vowels - help me.

Jeff Bercovici, formerly of Mixed Media at Portfolio, currently of Daily Finance: Oh, man. I had a resolution but I already forgot it. Seriously. 2009 is not off to a good start.

Ana Marie Cox, Wonkette emereti, Daily Beast contributor: I resolve to not work for a dying publication or industry ever agai--- oh, wait...

Sheila McClear, Gawker emereti, ASSME and Daily Beast contributor: OK! Starting January, I'll be exploring the annals of unemployment for the first time in eighteen months. I'm thinking of taking up new hobbies that could serve as income-generators, mostly involving the off-track betting parlor in Greenpoint. I won $7 on a scratch-off the other day, but it just wasn't enough of a rush. I would also like to cut down on benzos and blogging.

Okkervil River - The Latest Toughs

Previously: "This Year"